Need customer service puns

I'm looking for anything pun wise or clever in the area of customer service. Like "Minimum Rage" but something else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaakwells
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
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I just called GameStop Customer Service...

They asked me to please Hold. πŸ’ŽπŸ€²

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myfourthuser04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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How does a salad begin a religious service?

Lettuce pray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?

It’s mail-dominated.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondRateHack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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My mom’s sister runs the local candlelight services for the community

She is a vigil-aunty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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Why does cryptocurrency customer service sucks?

Because all they do is hold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillHe_BonkYa
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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The Final Catholic Service

The Final Catholic religious service right before the world is destroyed will be held in an ICBM silo.

They'll have Critical Mass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOldGuy59
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I saw an add for Tinkle radiator service.

The #1 place to take a leak.

It is in Des Moines look it up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Why can't Welshmen be in the intelligence services?

Too many leeks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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A mom joke really, as my wife said it as we walked passed an Easter service letting out where "Sunday finest" isn't a thing.

Me: "Really?! She wore ripped jeans to an Easter mass?"

Wife: "Those are her holy jeans."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglewatch1945
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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what food delivery service is the most popular with insects?

Grub hub

(please don't shoot me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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I went to a restaurant, and the service was terrible. Plus they ran out of utensils.

I decided never to go back because they had zero forks to give.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgva
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I took my car for a service yesterday morning.

The pastor told me to get out, as I was blocking the aisle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I once met a girl online with spotty service..

It was an on again-off again relationship..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service

because they were goodfellas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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According to a recent study, it’s really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.

It’s a mail dominated industry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Which artist has the best ride service?

Van Gogh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lilbob628
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do you call a really bad freight delivery service?

SHITMENT

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Services to the point
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I have an idea for a math tutoring service.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxcellane0us
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What’s the top streaming service in Russia?

Nyet flix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thorazine222
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I'm starting a new dating service in Prague.

It's called Czech-Mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lolcraftgaming
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Two big girls walk into a bar

Two big girls walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies *"Wales!"*

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillerTomatoes6
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!

I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I once had a faulty box of Corn Flakes so I called up Kellogg's customer services to see if they could help.

Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I've just been to the tyre shop

They have wheely good service

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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True story: many years ago I adopted a new dog. Took him to his first visit to the vet.

The lady at the vet: β€œwhat’s his name?”

Me: β€œThe shelter told me his name is Toby”

Her: β€œWell, what does he think his name is?”

Me: β€œ........ Kunte Kinte”

She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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What do you call a religious ceremony with one person?

Single service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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I personally find Tinder not that great of a dating service.

I prefer e-bae

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Why did Sean Connery sign up for the men's grooming prescription service?

They had such great shavings.

Edit: Title should be subscription, wtf autocorrect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1naryB0t
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Did you hear that U.S. Mail is starting a freight delivery service to compete with FedEx and UPS?

It’s called β€œS Cargo”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blizzardwizard88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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It's an essential service.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Planning ahead

I asked my dad one time why he went to all these funerals and memorial services even for people he didn’t know. He looked at me with a very serious look on his face, and he said β€œif you don’t go to their memorial services then they won’t come to yours. β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Maybar_703
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.

I call it β€œBest bets for vetting vets for vets”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I got my COVID shot today...

My cell service is great now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sumguywithkids
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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The United States Postal Service got jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLeafGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked

now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I went to a Norwegian restaurant the other day. The food was delicious. The service was superb. The only problem was...

I couldn't a-fjord it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonononer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....

the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Thank you and have a nice day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I let my out of town girlfriend know her vegetable service delivered a package today and I had some bad news.

She asked what had happened to it,

I told her the box had a leek in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptnBo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I can get you a great deal on cremation services....

But you have to urn it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravanik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free?

A not-for-prophet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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New dating service launched in Prague!

It's called Czech-Mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t44s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits to your house in 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?

Donald, duck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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