Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they’re working on a self driving boat as well.

They’re going to call it the iAye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockhardManstrong
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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They had self-driving cars in Russia

As they say: In Soviet Russia, Cars drive you...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basyt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Google Waymo has a self-driving truck. So would that be considered...

...semi-autonomous?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Did you hear about the self-driving car that purposely ran someone over?

It was an auto-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo_Re13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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What would you call a self-driving semi aquatic vehicle used for African Safari tours?

Hippopautonomous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gordoncrisp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I heard apple is making a self driving car,

It’s behind on production because they’re having trouble installing windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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Apparently scientists are working on self driving canoes

They'll be powered by a few row bots

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenderlove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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you hear Apple is releasing a self driving vehicals exclusively in russia?

it's called the I-van

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Last week a self-driving car hit my brother on purpose

I guess it had faulty automotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halcyon427
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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I want to buy a self driving car...

But every time I go to look at one it drives away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iforgotevery1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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I was stuck behind a self-driving car this morning.

Nobody drives that slow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bedazzle_bot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Trucker: do you know what today is

Other Trucker: that a big 10-4

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Sea_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Home Depot checkout line is as good a place as any for a dad joke

I needed to run to Home Depot just a little while ago, and my eight year old son has been driving my wife insane, so he was sent with me. He asked a hundred questions about what tool does what and why I needed this or that. Despite my distracted supervision, he surely mixed up several loose nuts and bolts.

At the exit of the self checkout line, there's a massive gumball machine that holds massive gumballs. I rarely carry change, so he's out of luck.

Sonny Boy: Dad, can I have a quarter?

Me (checking out): Nope. Don't have one.

Sonny Boy: You don't have any cents?

Me: If I had any cents, I'd have left you at home tonight.

No, he didn't get it, and I'm shocked he set it up so well by saying cents. But, the dude in the line next to me let out a solid guffaw. We made the satisfying, knowing eye contact of two dad joke aficionados. I'm glad someone else heard it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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Parents talking about when they were dating

My mom was talking about how my dad wouldn't stop talking about her when they were dating just as he got up from the table to go to the bathroom

They brought it up because I just got my license.

Mom: "When your dad first got a car he had a girl who liked him inside first and he kept on going on and on and on about me. She found that annoying. Ask him who was the first person in his car! See if he'll lie about it!"

Me: "Dad who was the first person in your car? Mom wants to know."

Dad: "Me. Its not gonna drive its self"

Me: "Well hes not wrong mom."

Mom: "Shut up"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IxuntouchblexI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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Conversation with son while driving down highway

[Driving down an unfamiliar part of I-95 highway with family (wife, 15yo son and 15yo daughter) when I had this conversation with my son:]

Son: Dad, where are we?

Me: Florida.

Son: No, Dad, more specific than that. Where are we?

Me : (reading exit sign) Wickham Road.

Son: Where's Wickham Road?

Me: (pause a bit for effect) Florida...

Son: (frustrated grunt) No, Dad, what town are we in?

Me: (reading exit sign again) Viera.

Son: How far is that from Vero? [our destination]

Me: About three letters.

[Satisfactory groans throughout car. Very pleased with self.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostDisjoint
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
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The Sound of Monks

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man sa,ys, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the kno

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemofish3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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Every time we drive up the turnpike through Elizabeth...

We're from NJ (he's been here his entire life). That part of the turnpike is how we get our bad name (smells, industrial, crime).

Every single time we drive through Elizabeth he proclaims, WHO'S ELIZABETH AND WHY SHE SMELL SO BAD?! followed by many self induced chuckles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/citylikeAMradio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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If Apple came out with a self driving car, would it have Windows?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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