Blockbusters, Portswood when it used to be a car salesroom
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📅︎ Jun 15 2020
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Picture of a Salesroom in a Foreign Mercantile Firm in Yokohama, Utagawa Sadahide, 1861 [3817x1834]
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📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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my sewing nook has upgraded to a kimono salesroom! imgur.com/gallery/sBNZE0y
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👤︎ u/nammmie
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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Magic Carpet Salesroom
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📅︎ May 02 2020
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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📅︎ Jun 18 2021
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Rational
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📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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👤︎ u/Zayan-ali
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/jzagri
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

👍︎ 12k
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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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👤︎ u/tieyz
📅︎ Jun 27 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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Gottemm
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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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so many choices
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📅︎ Jun 07 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
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📅︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
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📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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📅︎ Jun 20 2021
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I'd ruther not say
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📅︎ Jul 01 2021
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[Scheduled] Cat's Cradle - Ch 21 - Ch 40

EDIT: The final section was larger than the other sections by double so the schedule has been updated. Please see the May Joint Schedule post for the updated schedule. Thanks :)

Hey folks. Super sorry it's 2 days late and a bit hurried at that, but here is discussion post number 2. The rest of the posts will be up on time from now on...


Summary


Ice-nine has the power to freeze water the world over. Dr. Breed denies its existence. However, Felix Hoenikker did create it, and after he died on Chrismas eve the 3 Hoenikker children split the ice-nine chip between them. John/Jonah believes the ice-nine chips are his karass.

John/Jonah visits Dr. Hoenikker's lab. It is filled with 10-cent store toys. After he heads by cab to the cemetery to see Dr. Hoenikker's tomb. He arrives to see a large phallic marker 20ft high. On closer inspection this is Mrs. Hoenikker's tomb inscribed by the 3 children and paid for with the Nobel Prize money (along with a cottage on Cape Cod). Dr. Hoenikker's tomb is a 40cm wide marble cube. The cab driver wished to see his mothers tomb before leaving and John/Jonah complies. At the tombstone salesroom they meet Dr. Asa Breed's brother, Marvin Breed, who had once been in love with the beautiful Emily Hoenikker when they were at high school. Asa stole her away on returning from M.I.T, but she ended up marrying Felix. The cab driver is fixated on a 100 year stone old angel that is not for sale but was commissioned by a German immigrant to mark the grave of his wife who died of smallpox when passing through Illum. The surname is the same as John/Jonah's. Breed tells how Frank Hoenikker hitch hiked away after his fathers funeral and hasn't been seen since. Frank is wanted by the police, but Breed says it was an unfortunate accident that got him involved with Florida gansters. He believes Frank is dead. Newt left town with Angela and later flunked out of Cornell Med school. Breed tells how Angela the 6ft tall clarinet player was pulled out of high school by Hoenikker to take care of them.

John/Jonah visits the hobby shop Franklin used to work at and the owner Jack shows him the model world Frank built in the basement.

John/Jonah returns to his NYC apartment to find it trashed and his cat dead after allowing Sherman Krebbs to crash. Krebbs is nowhere to be found.

Later John/Jonah discovers a picture of 26 year old Major General Franklin Hoenikker, Minister of Science and Progress in the Republic of San Lorenzo. Frank arrive

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/fixtheblue
📅︎ May 15 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

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📅︎ Jun 27 2021
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Rock bottom
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👤︎ u/Theo19555
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

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👤︎ u/hypeaze
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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I threw up in the toilet
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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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Hot
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👤︎ u/AlexxFruit
📅︎ Jun 22 2021
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Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
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👤︎ u/Haidi7
📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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Had a good chuckle
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📅︎ Jun 21 2021
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Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

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📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
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👤︎ u/Unholy_Jer
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jun 22 2021
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