Why don't convents have trouble retaining seamstresses?

Because that work is habit forming.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish β€œHarry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.

I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Do all lawyers have bad teeth or something?

They all tell me I can pay them in retainers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrateBarnacle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Getting cold this time of year

With winter pretty much here my little garage ship has been getting pretty cold. I have poor circulation so my fingers become icicles and I drop tools, which can be very dangerous. So I duct taped some gloves to some German electric power tools. This way I keep my fingers warm while still retaining my Fein motor control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beowolf241
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Fiance got me good yesterday after work

So I am building a stone retaining wall at my house after work yesterday. Been at it for about an hour and a half before my fiance gets home from her job. She stops on the porch, looks at me, and just says, 'You Rockstar!' I couldn't help but smile. PS, I then had to tell her about this subreddit...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatchety
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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My Orthodontist doesn't work on commission...

He only works on retainer.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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Wife 1, Dad 0

Me, the "dad", if I can still retain that title: I recorded Gravity. Want to watch it?
Wife: Nah, let's watch something lighter, that's too heavy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleCapybara
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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Sign Language dadjoke! (is this a first?)

So my wife is learning sign language in college and will come home excited about all the stuff she has learned and will try to teach me. The only thing I've retained so far is yes and no. So when I ask her something that she wants to say no to, she'll sign it (thumb, index, and middle finger spread out, and then closing, like squishing a bug). I'll reply to this with just the opposite, opening those three fingers. That is not the correct sign for yes, the correct sign is like knocking on a door. Well when she does that to correct me, I yell "Who's there?!"

She's going to divorce, I just know it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/my_name_is_Camp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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How do orthodontists pay their attorneys?

They keep them on retainer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skryfy
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2016
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