Going to call him Sub-woofer.
The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
Judge says, "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
"I'm gonna hit you with the neck of my guitar."
And I said, "Is that a fret?"
So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him,
"Dad are you enjoying that?"
He stops mid lick
"Not half as much as this icecream is"
My father ladies and gentlemen.
"Two antennae got married.
The ceremony was good, but the reception was terrible."
This joke really resonated with me so I thought I'd share it here.
Talking to a friend about possibly moving to California and earthquakes became a topic of conversation.
Her: Watch out for earthquakes though. No pressure.
Her: Sorry, I just get a little shaken up thinking about it.
Me: Don’t worry it’s not your fault
Then she didn't reply for a while.
Me: Did I crack you up? Are these puns resonating with you? Or are they just causing a rift in our friendship?
