I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.

The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"

πŸ‘︎ 678
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Got myself a new dog, with a low, loud and resonant bark.

Going to call him Sub-woofer.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I think this will resonate with a lot of you here.
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nozendk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
So this guy says to me...

"I'm gonna hit you with the neck of my guitar."

And I said, "Is that a fret?"

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr__McGraw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
🚨︎ report
My father dropped this one on the family while eating self serve icecream...

So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him,

"Dad are you enjoying that?"

He stops mid lick

"Not half as much as this icecream is"

My father ladies and gentlemen.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovewarevolution
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
🚨︎ report
My professor just dropped this on us waiting for a program to load

"Two antennae got married.

The ceremony was good, but the reception was terrible."

This joke really resonated with me so I thought I'd share it here.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiNeSxatas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Earthquakes

Talking to a friend about possibly moving to California and earthquakes became a topic of conversation.

Her: Watch out for earthquakes though. No pressure.

Her: Sorry, I just get a little shaken up thinking about it.

Me: Don’t worry it’s not your fault

Then she didn't reply for a while.

Me: Did I crack you up? Are these puns resonating with you? Or are they just causing a rift in our friendship?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GK67
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.