What do you call self-replicating ranch hands?

von Neumann's Own

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📅︎ Jan 14 2020
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Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.

ME: ...And?

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👤︎ u/FoldaHolda
📅︎ Apr 09 2021
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[META] "58" makes me regret sorting by New

No exaggeration, I see the 50 Cent joke multiple times per day. The point of this sub isn't to replicate the real-life experience of my dad telling the same joke every chance he gets, it's for telling awful, cheesy one-liners. Please put just a little more effort into your posts - it does not take that long to search the sub to see if a joke has already been told.

And, to be clear - yes, I do downvote reposts, and yes, I do report them for being reposts. I am tired of doing it over and over for the exact same joke.

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👤︎ u/xennyboy
📅︎ Jul 26 2021
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Did you hear about the dyslexic that wasn't allowed to talk about his genes?

No one could touch his NDA.

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👤︎ u/N11Ordo
📅︎ May 11 2021
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What is the process by which cells do not replicate

Fooleosis

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📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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I recently took place in a Milgram experiment replication

Their methods were quite shocking

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👤︎ u/Zorgogx
📅︎ Nov 05 2017
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While on shore leave, Captain Picard intends to fix a hole in his uniform the old fashioned way.

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

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📅︎ Dec 13 2018
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It's not Spam...

I emailed my dad a link to a copycat recipe of KFC's coleslaw, since he frequently tries to replicate it. He's very wary of spam and virus links, so I sent him a text to let him know the email incoming from me was legit, and I got back this gem:

Me: Hey, I just emailed you a link to a copycat recipe for KFC's coleslaw, and I just wanted to give you a heads up that it's not spam.

Dad: No, it's coleslaw.

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👤︎ u/M_K80
📅︎ Feb 01 2014
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