Don't let it replace your family.
It was a hard drive
Sounds like a huge pain in the butt
Its bird-gin-ing research.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Surgeon: Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
I could finally say I have a magnum dong
I guess you could say I’ll just be getting sMASHED from now on.
I said we should do the front since that's the part everyone actually sees.
Carrie underwood
New Hamster.
Me: I replaced the handle on the toilet today!
Teenager: (Sarcastic) And aren't you proud of it?
Me: Flushed with success.
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
He's finding it hard to deal with.
They were really sour about it
Silence of the lamps.
I'm sorry I oops'd up.
I soya do it.
It's on its last lag.
I was just 2 tired
That was the highlight of my day.
They use foreskin to replace them. Only side-effect is coming out a little cockeyed.
He said it was on the house.
We are now a heavy metal church.
We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.
The old one just wasn't cutting it anymore.
police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
Sorry, wrong sub
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.
Tablets were replaced by scrolls. Scrolls were replaced by books. Now we scroll through books on our tablets.
I used to be a film photographer but learned it was a negative hobby.
One that lens itself to bad puns.
The kind that make you shutter.
I have proof.
Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.
One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"
To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."
Litterally
the joke just left me scratching my head.
Because hips don't lie.
What a hare-brained scheme.
I used to be addicted to soap but ... I am clean now.
I am addicted to brake fluid but ... I can stop anytime.
If you are attacked by a group of clowns ... go for the juggler.
I just moved and IMMEDIATELY after we move in he starts banging on my door every night yelling at me ... coincidentally I just happen to be playing my drums those nights so I could easily tune him out.
I was just diagnosed with colorblindness ... It came right out of the purple.
I failed math so many times at school ... I can’t even count.
Once i threw a boomerang, it never came back, ... Now I live in CONSTANT fear
When life gives you melons ... you might be dyslexic.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline ... She hit the ceiling!
There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count ... and those who can't
They say three out of five people suffer from diarrhea ... so ... does that mean two out of five enjoy it?
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Would you be making up for lost time?
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
But there are no leads.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Tablets were replaced by scrolls. Scrolls were replaced by books. Now we scroll through books on tablets.
