My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.

It was my Time lapse.

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馃搮︎ Nov 01 2020
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Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?

A reboot.

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馃懁︎ u/BatWaluigi
馃搮︎ Dec 18 2020
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I went to renew PlayStation Now but accidentally got Xbox Live Gold. Any advice?

Whoops, wrong sub.

馃憤︎ 731
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馃搮︎ Sep 01 2017
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Non renewable ass-ets.
馃憤︎ 177
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馃懁︎ u/porichoygupto
馃搮︎ Jul 20 2018
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I've just discovered a new source of renewable energy.
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馃懁︎ u/Boeing77W
馃搮︎ Nov 16 2018
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Renewable energy? I鈥檓 a big fan.
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馃懁︎ u/MadGodz
馃搮︎ Sep 14 2018
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Renewable energy?
馃憤︎ 22
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馃搮︎ Oct 29 2018
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I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke!

I guess it didn鈥檛 have much HP.

馃憤︎ 11
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馃搮︎ Apr 25 2020
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Doesn't just freshen the air. It renews it.
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馃懁︎ u/cju1ce
馃搮︎ Oct 08 2018
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I thought all the dolphins had died, but then I heard there are a lot of them.

I have a renewed sense of porpoise.

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馃懁︎ u/89iroc
馃搮︎ Jun 16 2020
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Did you know that wind turbines are big fans of renewable energy?
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馃懁︎ u/mcos
馃搮︎ Sep 12 2018
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A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine and asks, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"

The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

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馃懁︎ u/fatandsalt
馃搮︎ Sep 18 2018
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The Nordic countries are pooling their resources to improve renewable energy production.

Many Hans make light work.

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馃搮︎ Nov 03 2015
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I was cooking when suddenly I realized I was out of Time...

So I turned off the burner and renewed my subscription.

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馃搮︎ Feb 10 2020
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I met my wife at a scrabble tournament 20 years ago...

In September we鈥檙e going to renew our vowels.

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馃懁︎ u/yennicita
馃搮︎ May 10 2018
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So, this string was walking through the desert...

...for days, parched and exhausted. Eventually, he came across a small town and headed straight for the tavern. The string walked in, went up to the bar, and ordered a tall glass of water. The bartender looked at the string and said, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string couldn't believe it, but was forced to leave. Outside, he asked a stranger for help. He said to the stranger, "Hey pal, could you help a string out? The bartender won't serve me, so I need a disguise. Could you twist me into a knot so it looks like I have a head?." The stranger obliged and offered to do even better, "Let me fray out your top a little so you have hair, too." With renewed confidence, the string goes back into the tavern and orders a glass of water. The bartender suspiciously asks, "Hey, aren't you that string from earlier?" The string replies, "No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

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馃懁︎ u/grammar__cop
馃搮︎ Feb 16 2015
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Got my girl friend with this one

My girl friend's Sirius satellite radio subscription ran out and she hasn't renewed it yet.

Her: I'm going to die with out my Sirius! I hate the regular radio

Me: Siriusly?

Her: ಠ_ಠ

Via text message

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馃搮︎ Aug 12 2014
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My dad came home for work and immediately got Sirius with me.

I recently bought a new vehicle, and signed up for the 3 month Sirius radio trial that comes with it.

My dad gets home from work and immediately comes upstairs and gives me the letter from Sirius radio to renew membership.

As he hands it to me he says: "Here's your letter from Sirius in case you decide to get serious about Sirius.

Been waiting all day to say that..."

I just smiled and shook my head.

馃憤︎ 8
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馃搮︎ Feb 25 2016
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I was very pleased with myself in today's meeting.

The presenter was talking about this trade program, and how if Congress doesn't renew it, we're going to see a huge increase in the price of pants. He said the effect of this is really regressive, since the people it affects the most are the ones who can least afford it.

I decided to chime in, "Yeah, really hits them below the belt."

Actually got a halfway decent laugh.

馃憤︎ 7
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馃搮︎ Dec 19 2013
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