It's a big o' tree.
It's tree-mendous!
Two people walk past, and one says: “That’s a redwood.” The other looks at them and raises an eyebrow, confused. The first cringes at their mistake. The second, after a long pause, says: “Oh. It’s oaky. Don’t worry.”
Nailed a few dad jokes today…
First my wife and I were icing sugar cookies. We had two Christmas trees and she was using red icing.
So I said, “use the red.” And she says, “Res trees?” To which I replied, “they’d be redwoods.” Wife eyerolled.
Second, we’re making chocolate thingys. Blob of chocolate with a circular pretzel inset. She was adding little Christmas tree shaped decorations to the top of each one. I said, “Do we call these tree rings?”
More groaning.
It’s good to be a dad.
Do you know why redwood is the favorite tree species of every dog?
It has the thickest bark.
Oldest son (at a restaurant): do they accept dogs here? Me: no, it's cash or card
Waitress (bringing our after dinner drinks): I have three ports. Me: it was supposed to be two ports and a starboard
Youngest son (while we were driving): look, a cow... nevermind, it's gone Me: yes, we mooooved on...
Me: those plants around the redwoods are ferns Oldest son: they grow really close to the trees Me: yeah, they're really frondly...
