Someone secretly randomized my playlist.

Now I’m left with an unchained meddley.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..

.."Trick or Treatment"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonite-2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.

Her suspicious mind left me all shook up

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I am terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: [Screams in horror]

Therapist: Oh, I see

Me: [Screams intensify]

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sync_shark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoabHonker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerbilena
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...

But I’ve seen Stranger Things

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
That seals it
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivan420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Random And Merry(RAM)
πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savings_Cattle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?

Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uiltje16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people

It's a gag reflex

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...

It’s very noteworthy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Found randomly
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolik_pokakany
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon

I didn’t expect it to be a period piece

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a dad joke generator

I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:

https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magnebuda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"

A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurokami_Yohane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?

They hit the space bar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaddis04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes

Occupiing this sub

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VexuBenny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!

I've caught the car owner virus !

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barderz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Any random man: Arya Stark?

Arya: Yes I am. Sansa: Yes I am. Robb: Yes I am. Bran: Yes I am. Rickon: Yes I am. Ned: Yes I am. Jon Snow: No, I'm not

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egxsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor

...and I shout at him, β€œHEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, β€œteeth.” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ Does this make him the dad now?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you accept random Facebook requests?

Asking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.

I said: "There's the door."

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"

Such a random way to start a conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrYellowfield
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day

Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?

Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImFunguys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"

Forseer: "how else?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianmuslim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate when random people I don't know complain,

"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuporsuper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Suck at puns, but i randomly found this
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsilduurG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...

SURPRISE!

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the largest type of bar?

a Bus Bar

random thought while being passed by a bus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/palmvos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music

I think it’s the Chopin board.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!

Donald : Wrong!

Donald : Im peach

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quints98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun Generator - Generate Random Cringe-Worthy Puns generatorfun.com/pun-gene…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to tell a joke about a dumb person who ran

But that'd just be random

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.

It was a difficult habit to kick.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/T-posing_Jesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
You can’t just eat random things, Becky
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/illegalBacon83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Livmativ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm terrified of random letters

me: i'm terrified of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [Screams]

Therapist: I see

πŸ‘︎ 367
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: i am affraid of randomly thrown alphabets

Therapist: are you?

Me : screams

Therapist : oh i see

Me:screaming intensifies

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/achrafmoucherif
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Terrified of Random Letters

Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: Are you?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Namnrocinu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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