Someone secretly randomized my playlist.
Now I’m left with an unchained meddley.
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..
Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.
Her suspicious mind left me all shook up
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
Me: I am terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: [Screams in horror]
Therapist: Oh, I see
Me: [Screams intensify]
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon
I didn’t expect it to be a period piece
I made a dad joke generator
I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:
https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"
A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!
I've caught the car owner virus !
Any random man: Arya Stark?
Arya: Yes I am.
Sansa: Yes I am.
Robb: Yes I am.
Bran: Yes I am.
Rickon: Yes I am.
Ned: Yes I am.
Jon Snow: No, I'm not
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor
...and I shout at him, “HEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, “teeth.”
🤦♂️
Does this make him the dad now?
Do you accept random Facebook requests?
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.
I said: "There's the door."
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day
Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?
Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"
I hate when random people I don't know complain,
"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.
Suck at puns, but i randomly found this
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
What is the largest type of bar?
a Bus Bar
random thought while being passed by a bus.
One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music
I think it’s the Chopin board.
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!
Donald : Wrong!
Donald : Im peach
I wanted to tell a joke about a dumb person who ran
But that'd just be random
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.
It was a difficult habit to kick.
You can’t just eat random things, Becky
This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
I'm terrified of random letters
me: i'm terrified of random letters
therapist: you are?
me: [screams]
therapist: oh i see
me: [screaming intensifies]
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: you are?
Me: [Screams]
Therapist: I see
Me: i am affraid of randomly thrown alphabets
Therapist: are you?
Me : screams
Therapist : oh i see
Me:screaming intensifies
Terrified of Random Letters
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: Are you?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
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