So my son asked me about radioactivity.

I said to him:

Other than a few news channels the only thing on their is music.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fulback
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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A radioactive pun imgur.com/rA6gejD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVillain117
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.

They must've thought that it was pretty rad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackKnightiscool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Just found out that my rod and reel is radioactive

Going nuclear fission

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekojonsiaixelsyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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What do you call a radioactive cow?

A mooootant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Did you hear about that chef at the Indian restaurant that was bitten by a radioactive spider?

He hoped to receive super strength, but it was just naan-sense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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A radioactive leak in China has thrown the country's widlife into chaos

Apparently it's absolute panda-monium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soody765
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I ate a radioactive taco.

There was lots of fallout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSS_is_the_best
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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What does a radioactive lab say when their astrology is bad?

Marie-Curie is in retrograde

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plout0n
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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My hips are radioactive

I have a toxic waist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GayMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I always sing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons to my son on his birthday.

He should feel welcome to the new age.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hbarn08
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.

I think that's bananas!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EverydayMeeple
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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My son learned about radioactive decay in chemistry class, he was real excited when he got home and had a million questions. He wanted to build a reactor in the back yard. I told him we couldn’t. β€œWhat, are you not smart enough?”

β€œNo U”

I’ll see myself out.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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I used to be in charge of my aging parents estate, but my brother was bitten by a radioactive lawyer.

Now he has the power of attorney

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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My radio never turned off.

It's radioactive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Hear they had a radioactive spill at the primate lab?

They've now got fission chimps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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he got a nobyl prize

found out my friend was extremely radioactive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mxrtinezz1322
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Mate of mine used a modified Fatman in a New Vegas inspired talbetop-RPG. We both found the damage calculation of the lingering damage the GM thought of quite punny:

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoughShadow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Prepare for Radiation Poisoning

Question: Why don't radioactive animals talk?

Answer: Because they're mute-ated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Ars3nic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Collection of dadness

I am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.

What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives

Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.

What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...

The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.

Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.

We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.

There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.

A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words

SΓΈ, I hΓͺΓ‘rd yΓΆΕ« lΓ¬kΓ« fΓΆrΓ©igΓ± aΓ§Δ‡Δ“Ε„tΕ‘

As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.

My New Years resolution will probably be 25 megapixels, or 4K, not sure yet...

There was a river in Egypt no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Dad-Epitaph:
I thought I'd never live to see this day come.

There are two things that are guaranteed to open doors in life.
Push and Pull!

(How to keep an idiot in suspense)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A man builds robotic snakes for a living, I guess you could say he was a... python programmer!

A researcher's obsession with mixing stone, sand, lime, and water has yielded concrete results.

A madman once attacked a rider on his horse.
The rider had to goto hospital, the horse remains in stable condition.

A man bought a paper shop, it blew away in the wind last night.

Science is all about learning the rules, setting off an absurd amount of explosives, and then writing down what happened.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

Dad: Did you pick up your room?
Kid: No, I tried but it's too heavy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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I should try my Geiger counter!

A few years back my mom was having some kind of stomoach problem, my dad took her to the doctor where she drank some kind of radioactive dye for some kind of diagnosis. My dad comes into their home-office where I am fixing their computer. "Hey Jake, C'mere" he says. He's holding a Geiger counter he has from who knows where. My mom is laying in her bed and he gets it closer and closer to her stomach and it goes off, flashing red! I am dying, laughing so hard then he says "Looks like we've got one hot mama" My mom just rolls her eyes and groans. One of the most hilarious things I have ever seen in my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacticalcraptical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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Studying for bio and asked my dad about the four methods of gene transfer...

"You go to the mall - that's one. The second method is you drop off a load of donations at Salvation Army. Third: you're picked up by a backhoe and transported to a pool of radioactive material in the middle of the garbage dump and your jeans are magically transferred off of you as you disintegrate. And the fourth? By policemen carrying out a court order in a maximum security prison."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GimpyBallerina
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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