Pronouncements Puns

Because they drank all the tea

Then soviet.

Kernel

I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Because they drank it

Paddy O’furniture

"BOOM?!"

De-calf-inated!

Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cālf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.

They've drunken all of it already.

Same thing that Arkansas

You may kiss the bride goodbye.

I just kept silent.

Data

A Wonton.

Cyan Aura.

A happy uncle.

“Noah walked out onto the ark and saw....”

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

Give them a cantaloupe.

A zebra

I guess nobody Reddit.

All the gifts are addressed “Faux Pas”

Please post your best Beau (my bfs name) puns. I’m making him a note jar for Valentine’s and I’m short on puns. I already have Bodacious, Beautiful, and beaucoup (bookoo)

Post just a word or a short joke. Thanks guys!

Then soviet.

Because they already drank all the T!

Then Soviet

....then Soviet.

Because we drank the tea!

I can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong my whole life

Because they drank it all

I’ve been pronouncing it wrong my whole life!

Then Soviet

“BOOM”

I hope that blew your minds