Hot glue is not a solution.
I asked her if it's a fusion restaurant. She blew up at me.
I'm no longer accepting ham me downs
The first one instructed his team to drive all their equipment in fast and work as quickly as possible. The work quality was poor and their crane actually fell over.
The second one instructed his team to work carefully. They created a sturdy platform for their crane, the quality was good, and they completed the project successfully.
>!Supporting Ur crane will always beat a Rush in!<
Shinglehandedly
He's the only man in history who was Stallin and Russian at the same time.
...it's an audible joke spoken in slang. The ingredients are there, but it takes too much explanation
I know I've already ruined it . Bring on the down votes but please help me make it flow better. I've been beating it around since the old 'experience project' days
To be clear, the premise of the joke is that Stallin sounds like "stalling" and Russian sounds like "rushing."
..is it an oxymoron or a paradox?
Oohe.. bonus.. an oxymoron is a dummy who doesn't know how to apply pimple cream and a paradox is footwear worn by skinheads (pair of docs) . ..kinda harsh, huh.. maybe 2 doctors?
Ok, bring on the crickets and the down votes. I can take it...😬🤕😁
Big EDIT: I absolutely mean no disrespect to any Russians, Georgians, Ukrainians, or any Eastern Europeans whatsoever. Or anybody anywhere. ..or any kinds of groups of any kind of people, or any members of the Stalin family, past, present or future.
I think the term for finally losing your mind in a fit of rage after attempting to use Apple products for years, only to finally realize that Apple deliberately configures things to not work properly, is called Appleplexy.
But the project has been on and off for years.
It was not an Asian fusion restaurant. 1 Star.
So my co-worker said "If you can't nail it, screw it." And it worked!
...I was fired.
He's literally a giant Banner
I need to achieve better work-light balance.
r/dadjokes
It's all about raisin awareness.
It’s called “Mein Craft”
I told him "What? You never ate Spring Rolls?"
Planet
"I'm ashamed of my shelf"
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."
In fact: They Might be Giants
Just let that sink in.
I'm not very good with puns or words really but I'm doing a project with my kinder class and need some kid-friendly puns that include classic adventure book titles and bears... The only title I can think of is, "Bear-y Potter and the Soc. Stone." Can you think of anymore?
It’s great for polishing off your stools!
Suddenly he was more than willing to help me. Water works.
If this isn't allowed feel free to delete!
For my college project we need to produce a fashion photoshoot and we chose a fruit theme. This professor says you need to have a creative title. We are creating 4 shots based on different fruit types (berries, citrus, melons and exotics), and we are gonna label the shots with those specific puns, but we need a general fruit pun to call the whole project. I was maybe thinking like 'pick of the bunch' or something along those lines but please give me any suggestions!!
Thank you in advance!!
Shocked, he goes to his mexican coworker and says:
"No way José!"
Maps, maps, maps... Thanks for coming to my ToAD Talk.
They can really make or break the final product.
...but the whole thing turned out to be a big time sink.
It wooden start. I was stumped. Couldn't get to the root of the problem.
So I did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy. He said he works as a web developer.
It's a Volts-wagen.
So I left broadway and I’m off to Hollywood!
My daughter is at university in another state. We occasionally text each other dad jokes. Last night she sent me a message: “send me more dad jokes, quick.” I hopped to it, racking my brain for anything new that I hadn’t already sent her recently. After a few moments she sent me: “we are doing a class project and during the down times I’m reading your jokes to the class, you have a fan base here” I was over the moon. A few moments later she sent me a video of her entire class saying, in chorus: “Thanks Nate’s Dad”. Completely chuffed. Thank you community, you not only entertain, you help connect.
But then I realized I was just projecting.
Usually this intern job is for juniors, but in this case he's a señor developer.
Then I found out that it was being shelved.
I responded, "is there an option to leave them all there?"
- I hope you understand the amount of trouble you’re in?
- I do Jeff, and please don’t call me urine.
Nailed it!!!
I have only my shelf to blame.
