What do you get when you mix a penis, potato & a boat?
Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the 'Peekaboo' virus.
Doctor's are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....
Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".
(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")
Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....
Why did the potato cough up blood?
Because it had tuber-culosis
What do you call a mean potato?
What do you get when you cross a potato with a penis?
Did you hear about the anti-abortion potato named Richard?
They call him Dick tater for life.
What do you call a potato that looks like a penis?
What do you call a meditating potato?
Do you ever think that potatoes get mad because…
Some Italians were throwing small lumps of dough composed of potatoes at my house
I guess they were Gnocching on my door
What do you call a famous internet virus?
I have a joke about Corona Virus.
I'd tell you it, but you probably won't get it.
What did one potato say to the other in the oven?
I know it’s getting heated but we can hash it out.
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
How do potatoes measure their speed?
The spudometer, of course.
How do you make potato bread?
What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed?
Did anyone see the news story about the HIV virus mutating to affect citrus plants?
Got a job at a potato chip factory. On top of salary they said I could pick any flavor chip off the shelf once a month.
They prided themselves in their stock options.
This morning I had fried eggs, fried bread, fried potatoes and refried beans....
What do you call a potato that uploads videos?
How do you know when you’ve contracted West Nile Virus?
When you start walking like an Egyptian.
What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
Everything in existence is either a potato or not a potato
What did the Sweet Potato say when it gained consciousness?
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
In these challenging times, I worry about the virus and keeping a roof over my head.
So I went and got the shingles vaccine.
Scientists have discovered a new species of potato that has attained consciousness and become self aware.
They are calling them meta-taters.
Fun fact about potatoes!
Fun fact, if you take a potato, cut it in half, stick electrodes in each half and bring them close together but not quite touching, then you’ve made a capacitater!
While I was gardening a potato was watching me and criticizing my every move. He thought he was big stuff.
But I think he was just a commontater
Why did the computer virus disappear?
y=mx+b jokes are fine, but..
At some point, we'll have to draw the line
WHICH POTATO RULES THEM ALL?
Why did the sweet potato cross the road?
So that it could be the other side.
Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.
What do you call a wavering potato?
What did the citizens of the USSR make out of their potatoes?
Let's see what y'all do to continue this
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
Did y'all hear that Thanos has been committed to an insane asylum?
Why did Drake dig up and mash potatoes with a rock at the same time?
first time posting here. (not a dad, just a 17 y/o kid)
Every time this queer couple lied to their son, he would see right through them.
>they were trans-parent.
What do you call a fried potato who is being held hostage?
Why did the hacker send viruses by email?
He wanted to give people a positive Outlook.
What do you get when you mix a penis & a potato?
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