Have you heard, the sequel to 2020 has has been postponed?

2022 won’t be arriving for at least a year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redkingror
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Post Malone has canceled his tour.

Does this now make him Postpone Malone?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConsumerOfAllToes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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I’m postponing my vision check-up till next year. (I’m told it will be 2020 by then)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vsshankar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I'm really good at postponing things

I guess you can say I'm a pro-crastinator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/svennertsw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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What do you call elevation at a postponed date?

Esca-LATER

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mezacis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Once upon a time a postman was working at a new place

Oh wait don't worry the joke has been postponed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerxbykabil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Post Malone just suspended his tour

Guess that makes him postponed Malone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmoraxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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I was at a concert but the singer got delayed

Postponed Malone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcharlesboyle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I've finally decided on my 2018 New Years resolution

My 2018 New Years resolution is to stop postponing things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Double_D
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Talking to a conductor at the train station

Background: Where I live, we have these little plastic cards instead of tickets to get on trains. You load it up with money electronically and then "touch on" at the train station and "touch off" when you get off at your destination. The other day I touched on at the station. Shortly after arriving, the meeting I had been going to got postponed. So I touched off. I wanted to make sure that I hadn't been charged for sitting in the station for five minutes so I went up to the ticketing booth.

Me: Is there anyway for me to check the balance of this online or something?

Conductor: Oh, no need. I can do that for you!

He takes the card, places it on the end of his finger, and holds it up to his eyes.

Conductor: Yep, perfectly balanced!

I think he was surprised by how funny I found this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChoozeGooze
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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A man is auditioning for a role in an opera production the local opera company is putting on.

He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.

"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."

The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"

"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."

Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.

At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.

"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."

"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kojo2047
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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dad wanting to go to a concert

dad: "sweetheart, do you know Spanish singer Julio Iglesias? He said he wanted to have another concert soon, you know! "

mom: "My deaaar, if I say 'Julio', it is pronounced as 'Hulio'. Don't embarrassed me like that ... "

dad: "Ooo ... is that so, ...?"

mom: "Yes, dear. When will the concert be available? "

dad: "It was Hanuari, but it was postponed. Either its Hune or Huly. Lets Watch it! After that, I plan to hump together with him at his room, what do you think?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ander427
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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My wife was letting her bread dough rest even though she forgot to add yeast.

I told her she was only postponing the unleavenable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmj2l
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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My dad one evening when I had to go to bed...

I had to watch a Batman movie for my school (the 1943 one), and I kind of postponed it, as it looked kinda boring. So one night, the day before I had to have watched the movie, I had to stay up a little later because the movie wasn't over yet. Then my dad walked in.

Dad: "Why don't you go to bed now? It's already late."

Me: "No, dad, I have to watch this Batman movie for school."

Dad: "Come on, just go to Batman!"

When you say it out loud, it sounds like "bed man". He burst out laughing as he said it, and then walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotererio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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