A list of puns related to "Post Foods"
http://imgur.com/a/j9cGL?gallery
I have a friend designing a website for a project and in the website it allows you to customize what you want in a meal so it can be added to your cart and shipped to you. On her site she will have a button that picks a random meal for you if you canโt decide.
So sheโs been trying to think of funny names to label this button. One idea she has was to label it โClick-Nom-Meโ. So Iโm not sure if this is the right sub to post in but any food/eating puns would be much appreciated!
Taco Braille
Imho, the father of /u/SweatingToilet joins the dadjoke Hall of Fame with this gem.
https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/3t402c/roommate_gave_me_a_cutout_from_a_magazine_and/cx31fbt
I am dad, I drew this.
http://i.imgur.com/c46sobB.jpg
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender: "Sorry we done serve food here."
Mushroom: "Come on, I'm a fungi..."
PS. I know a similar joke was recently posted, but I've always loved this two parter version.
Me: so what's your favourite food? Carrots? Chocolate? Custard?
2 year old: nose
Me: out of all the food you'd pick your nose?
Toddler: grins
Me: groans
It was so bad I knew I had to post it here.
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a โฌ5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".
Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.
Because if they have four, they would be chicken sedans..
Scene: Dinner for my mom's birthday at a very nice (expensive) restaurant.
Waitress: Your steak comes with a choice of the vegetable of the day or a twice baked potato.
Me: Are twice baked potatoes and refried beans prepared similar ways or is that just a naming coincidence?
W: Laughing Oh my God. Our bartender and I were just talking about funny "dad jokes" on reddit! I didn't expect to hear one in person. Do you use reddit?
M: Umm... Yeah... I actually follow r/dadjokes but I'm not a dad and
W: You should post that joke there!
I have no idea if she will see this but my wife said I had to let everyone know about a redditor interaction. I hope she does because the food was awesome and she was a fantastic waitress beyond being a fellow redditor.
I still have no idea if twice baked potatoes and refried beans have any link...
Hey y'all. I have an aรงaรญ bowl food truck in Fort Worth, TX, and we've always had some pretty witty menu item names. For exmaple, we just took off "the Big Lebolwski"
We just added some things to our menu. Here it is: https://www.rollinnbowlin.com/menu
Anyone have a good funny pun name for our avocado toast? I'll post a picture of our menu on our food truck if someone gives me a really good name! And if you have any better names for any of our items, I'd love to hear them!
As we were planning the post-funeral reception, my little bro asked โis there a sad food?โ
I said, โBreakfast..... because you eat it in the mourningโ
Ps my wife is pregnant with my first child!
So recently there's some news of a student taking food from the community fridge that doesn't belong to them. I'm in charge of making a parody of Iggy's Azeala's song "Fancy". I want to make a joke that uses both things.
The best I can come up with is What does your food in the community fridge and the parody video have in common? It's gonna be as cool as if you found your food in the fridge.
I'm sure there's something better.
Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit
There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.
The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.
The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".
"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.
"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."
The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."
The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"
The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."
The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"
The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minute of brushing each, then we decide."
"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.
Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper gr
... keep reading on reddit โกI saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, โDo you want a liftโ. โNo thanksโ, they replied, โWeโre Walkersโ.
I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all ยฃ5 apart from one that was ยฃ10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said โthatโs maderia cakeโ.
Bought some cream, it said โstore in a cool placeโ. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.
Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.
A man says โI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the otherโ. The doctor says โIโm afraid you are a trifle deafโ.
I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden
What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.
Ice cream is exquisiteโฆ โwhat a pity it isnโt illegal.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adamโs banana.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because itโs too hard to put them on the bottom!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When itโs been sliced.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charleyโs death? BEN and JERRY.
Donโt eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you wonโt be able to budge.
You know youโre a mom ifโฆ Popsicles have become a staple food.
Mexican candy makes my taste buds say โOLE!โ
FORGET LOVEโฆ Iโ
... keep reading on reddit โกTo me this was the moment I knew my girlfriend was a pun master.
Going to the kitchen to grab some more food, my girlfriend happened to be standing there. As a was scooping seconds of dinner she said something and I said one second.. She said "no seconds" as the scoop hit the plate and the words left my mouth.. Two puns at once! I was impressed and amazed needed to post it.
Why couldnโt the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween Iโm going to write โLifeโ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy Iโm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
โHalloweenโ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Iโll be your trick if youโll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Whatโs a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A โhollow-weenie!โ
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
Iโm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doโฆ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, โA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?โ The other monster replied, โBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youโre not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itโs Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iโm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italianโs eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why canโt the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyโre hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itโs Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
The seafood diet. You see food, you eat it. --- Sorry if this was already posted, my dad just told me this after calling me fat.
My uncle posted a status that his wife finally got granted citizenship:
Uncle: Today, Mrs. [wife] is an American citizen! She is now legally allowed to waste food, hate foreigners and accept Jesus as lord and savior
Dad: And bear arms... can't forget that part.
Uncle: She doesn't have bear arms... she shaves.
(No offense intended)
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