The Polar Bear replies, "I don't know, I've always had them."
Step one. Cut a hole in the ice
Step two. Open a can of peas and place a few next to the hole
Step three. Hide and wait
When the polar bear bends over to take a pea, you sneak up and kick him in the ice hole!!!
One of my preschoolers told me this one a few years ago. It's definitely one of my favorite "clean" jokes.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
In honor of my Grandpa, here is my favorite Dad joke, that he told me when I was a young one, and that I, in turn, have shared with each of my kids.
How to catch a polar bear:
Step 1: Go to a frozen lake way up north.
Step 2: Cut a 6 foot hole in the ice
Step 3: Place frozen peas all along the border of the hole in the ice.
Step 4: Hide
Step 5: When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
Because they’re ICE-olated.
turns out, the bear was BIPOLAR.
In a snow bank!
They failed to eat bear minimum
bipolar bears sometimes do, sometimes don't
One has a pause at the end of its clause, and the other has claws at the end of its paws.
With his bear hands.
Surely this has been posted before but I’d never heard it. My wife texted it to me today with a, “ YOU are gonna love this one.”
It's the bear minimum
Had to return them, they were bipolar.
Igloos it together!
Because they make a great point!
Dig a hole in the ice, 10 feet in diameter and 12 feet deep. Make sure it's a perfect circle or it won't work. Now, open a can of peas and place a pea every 8 inches apart all the way around the hole you dug. Once you've done so, find a good spot to hide and wait.
When a bear bends down to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
A bipolar bear.
BiPolar Bears
He got straight back in the car, looked at me with a completely serious face and said “I’ve just been assaulted”.
ETA: thank you so much for the awards, I showed him some (SOME!) of the comments 😂 and it made his day, he was delighted that people actually enjoyed his joke to even just upvote and comment on it but actually couldn’t believe that people actually awarded it too (“people gave Reddit awards to it?? For my joke?? Like, did they actually mum or are you just saying that?!” so yea, thank you kind Redditors for making my 11yo extremely happy! You guys are the best 😊
They all have cold feet
Authorities fear a pandamic.
This? Bears repeating.
Honestly her mom and I always did 75 at night but this is her own life and her own thermostat so I am proud of her no matter how she chooses to set it!
Edit: I used to think this world / community is very polarized. Now I realize they are not - they are really sort of gradually distributed between uncomfortably cold and uncomfortably hot....
A solar bear
Bonus: what do you call a bear that practices dentistry?
A molar bear
At first I was really sad. Now I'm really happy.
Well first you cut a hole in the ice. Next you place snow peas all along the rim of the hole. Finally, when the polar bear comes up to take a pee, you sneek up behind and kick em in the icehole!
Polar opposite bears
Enough to break the ice.
A fridge
The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear shrugs. “I was born with them.”
-
Dig a hole in the ice
-
Put some frozen peas in it
-
When it goes to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole.
You cut a hole in the ice and scatter peas around it. When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
That was one my dad used to tell, so it's 100% genuine dad joke.
You kick him right in the ice hole
Cut a hole in the ice, place a pea in the center of the circle, and when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole
Bar man says "no worries, but why the big pause?"
Polar bear says "Oh, I've always had these"
Kick them in the ice hole
When the bear stops to take a pea, you sneak up behind it and kick it in the ice hole.
First cut a hole in the ice. Then open a can of green peas and put them all around the hole. Then hide. When the polar bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
It’s the bear minimum
Cut a hole in the ice and line the rim with frozen peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
