Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
My answer is always the same: Because.
C4 yourself.
"C4 yourself".
One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.
Frisbees
I will call it “Pick Your Nose”
I see a few new faces this week and I must say I’m disappointed.
But there are only two of us on the production line.
So I have to make every second Count!
I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Unimpressed Friend: So, Crates...
That's why I used it indoors
They are top aware.
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
The doctors described his condition as stable.
I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
It’s very forktunate.
Because he just couldn’t Lego.
The doctor said his condition was stable
Cashews are bankers.
Peanuts are urologists.
And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.
It never makes the cut
are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
- Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
- Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
- Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
- Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
- Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
- Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
- Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
- Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
- Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
- Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
- Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
- Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
- Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
- When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
- Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
- Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
- Always go straight home after work or school
- Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
- Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
- Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
LEGO of the pain?
She picked her nose.
I told him it’s not good to eat bits of plastic
It was the last straw.
Plastic explosives.
He's keeping his chins up.
/edits: rephrasing and pluralization.
Pails in comparison
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
Why can't baggers be choosers?
Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.
The doctor described his condition as stable!
Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
