I don’t have a dog.
We couldn't afford a dog.
I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
He starts planking
Is this a new trend, girls getting studs in their ears?
Because they washup on shore.
I was floored.
(Science joke)
It had no lumber support
Because he was guilty of tree-ason.
He didn’t have a dog.
Diddly-squats
Board meeting
A little bored
They never want to get on board
Because it was board.
Why did the skateboard go to the movies? Because it was wheely board.
and pointed and shouted "That's a hanging offense"
...because we can't afford a dog...
Rustle!
Fsh.
When we were younger we had to walk the plank.
My parents were too poor to afford a dog.
The do Plank-tons
A plank-ton
I work at a beer brewery where we give tours. We can dress up tomorrow and I’m a pirate. What are so beer-related pirate puns? I’m at the end of my plank here.
I was working for a carpenter as work experience. He just got me to move planks from one pile to another
and woodn't you know it but I got pt having enough pretty board of not having actual qualitree experience.
I ended up getting so frustrated that I insulted him till I ran out of insults and was stumped. That's the story of how I decided to leaf being a builder behind me and branch out into new careers.
...I better start doing planks.
He was talking about my best planking times (because he likes to keep me athletic) while looking through a record of my planking times, and believed that I could have worked for a longer duration on one session.
I said, " Yeah, I just got bored."
He retorted, "You didn't get board, you got plank."
Dad and I are leaving Home Depot and cross paths with a gentleman carrying some 2x4s over his shoulder through the crosswalk. He stops the car and turns to me with, "Looks like he's... walking the plank." Dad literally cant drive the car because he's doubled over the steering wheel crying. All I can do is meet the stares of fellow shoppers with the deadpan face of one who has just been dad-joked. I will become him one day.
Me - "Dad, I'm bored" Dad - "Well at least your not plank"
I'm drawing a plank.
So my wife and I went to Great Floors looking for tile and generally getting an idea of what we want to finish our basement bathroom and family room with.
The saleswoman points us to this vinyl plank stuff I've never seen before that you just lay down with no glue or anything that is somehow completely waterproof and lifetime guaranteed and all that jazz. She shows us how you need to use a plunger to pry them back up once they are all tight together.
Me. "Wow, I never would have thought this could work.... I'm floored."
In the ensuing groan fest the saleswoman claims to have never heard that one before, I jested that she sounded knowledgeable for someone who obviously hasn't been working in the business very long.
We are remodeling the bathroom due to mold, and long story short Nicholas wasn't allowed in his room. While in the front room he moaned as loudly as he could "I'm booooooooooooooreeeeed"; I picked up the nearest 2x4, stuck it out the door and said "Hi board, I'm plank".
I got two chuckles from the contracter and my stepdad, and an "ungh" from Nicholas.
Antijoke: "when is a door not a door?" "When it's a pile of planks, waiting to be assembled"
My dad: "when is a door not a door?" "When it's ajar"
We had bought some snake fireworks for my two year old to look at. Our driveway was wet from all of the rain we were getting. We found a piece of wood to lay down so the fireworks didn't get wet. That's when I said "Look! It's snakes on a plank!"
The family is watching a movie together, and a scene comes on with a boy standing on some train tracks using a plank and rock to pretend he's playing baseball. The following exchange occurred:
Me: "He shouldn't be playing on the tracks. He could get hurt." Dad: "He's training."
I love this man.
We couldn't afford a dog.
We couldn't afford a dog
Because he couldn't afford a dog.
"We couldn't afford a dog."
We couldn’t afford a dog.
