You know what they say: β€œYou’ve seen one mall, well then you’ve seen a mall”.

I’m not dad yet

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ribrars
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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I got a haircut yesterday...

When my girlfriend saw my haircut for the first time she exclaimed, "It looks great!"

I responded, "Yeah, I didn't like it at first but it's really starting to grow on me..."

There was about three seconds of silence before I said "...get it?" and she groaned. I, of course, laughed hysterically.

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logancook44
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
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Burning Wood

So my friend was burning off yard trash (controlled burn...put away your pitchforks reddit) from the lot he recently had cleared during the day. I show up at his place in the evening and we go outside to see how much debris was left. He pokes some of it with a stick and hears a hard glass sound and says, "What the heck is that?!" I lean down to look at it and reply, "I think it's petrified wood....but I have no idea what scared it." He rolled his eyes, and his 16 year old daughter laughed her ass off.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blacknight75
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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