Just a phonetic pun map of Germany (aka "Toyed Shoe Lunt") for english speakers...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unaufhaltable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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I've been learning Chinese (Mandarin). I told my friend I preferred writing Chinese in English letters versus the phonetic characters.

He said, "Well, that's your Pinyin".

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2016
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Dude, where’s my
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marcus-Prince
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Where is it!
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Credit to r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manzoito
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Son: Dad, I got an F in math!

Dad: You need to work on your spelling too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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That damn UPS man

My dad pulled one on my brother when he was going to an interview for an internship with UPS (delivery service).

"What does the UPS guy say when he drops a package?"

"What?"

"Oops"

Laughed too hard at first because I thought it was some sort of anti-joke. But nope, just a lame pun. Stay classy, pops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumorousDaze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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Trump News

Did you hear the news that just broke about Donald Trump? Apparently, it's been confirmed. He's bisexual.

No, really. If he doesn't buy-sex, he doesn't get any!

[Yeah, I know. It's a phonetic joke that doesn't work well in written form, but it works well when spoken.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aluminoids
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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French National Hero imgur.com/644u5u8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roflkopt3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
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Hey

is for horses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RexErection
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Dadjoked my fiance

Going through the English alphabetic phonetics and she blanks on U and says U for unicorn?

Me: No. U for Uniform.

Her: Why can't U be a unicorn?

Me: Because I was born a human being babe.

Her: Rolls eyes and pulls the finger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sciazs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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My dad usually makes this joke after 3 minutes of small talk when meeting new people.

My native language is dutch and in the sentence "hoe lang" means "how long". When pronouncing "hoe lang" in dutch it sounds like a chinese name. phonetically it would be "Hulang".

So my dad would always say out of nowhere "Hoelang is een Chinees", which translates into "How long is a chinese". Usually the people who hear the joke are clueless and look at him and weird and say "i dont know, i dont think all the chinese people have the same heigth, why do you ask me this?". Then he would say "Huh, what are you talking about? I was talking about my friend Hulang from China hahahahhahaha". He always laughs extremely loud after telling the joke, its part of the routine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thenecx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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