My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 176
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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What to do when phone dropped in water
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/llama_3480
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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I just dropped my phone in the bath

Now it's syncing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 395
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nerdgasm12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...

...It was a close call.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iLoveShowerThoughts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.

I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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Why did the pirate get in his ship and leave immediately when he got a phone call?

Because booty calls

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/actualcovfefebean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.

Me: step 1, buy a boat.

Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SashaBanks2020
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you make a phone call in China?

There’s so many Wings and Wong’s, you might wing the wong number.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/speedpetez
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I don’t get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.

Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2020
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I tried everything but I couldn't get my phone to sync with my computer, so I threw it in the toilet.

Now it's sinking

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AwesomeDoofus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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Do they use cell phones in prison?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2020
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Me: <receives phone notification> "Ooh, it's supposed to start raining in 2 minutes"

Wife: "It's sunny outside"

Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/michaellasalle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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Trump has just issued Boris Johnson a final warning about allowing Chinese technology in their phone system

He told him "it's my way or the Huawei"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emu404
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
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I put my phone under my pillow last night and went to sleep. When I woke up it was gone and a pound coin was in its place

Damn that Bluetooth Fairy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
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I tried using a powerbank on my phone, but the police threw it in jail...

It was charged with battery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2019
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I accidentally dropped my phone in the bath yesterday. Some water got stuck in between the phone and it’s cover. I thought my phone was waterproof.

But apparently not in this case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phuonganh98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2019
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I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area,

Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I can easily buy a Xiaomi phone in Asia

but Mi gonna ?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trickstr_2293
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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My Dad dropped his phone in a cup of coffee...

After a stunned silence...

"At least it runs Java now."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Durangokid97
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2016
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I almost answered the phone when my talkative German brother-in-law was calling me, but thankfully I recognized the number.

That was a Klaus call

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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Dad got his first smart phone. I asked him if he knew to put it in rice if it got wet...

Him: Yeah and if that doesn't work, you put butter on it

Me: Butter?? Really? I hadn't heard that one. Why butter?

Him: Because if the rice doesn't work the phone is toast

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/taurus_tourist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2014
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Met a guy today who could tear a phone book in half.

He was ripped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2019
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I dropped my phone in the toilet...

Everyone says I sound like crap now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
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Can’t wait to get home and plug in my phone.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bilesto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2019
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I don't have tags for my dog, but I bought her a phone in case she got lost. She ran away today.

I really should collar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2018
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My wife always put some cash in her phone cover,

Just in case

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lilbluechair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2019
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My son saw some sneakers hanging from the phone lines in the street...

... he asked me "Hey dad, how did those shoes get up there?". I sombrely explained to my son that sometimes, when shoes die and they ascend to heaven, the laces get caught up and they get stuck like that.

My Son: "Dad! Shoe's don't go to heaven!", Me: "Of course they do! They've got soles don't they!?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bisscuitt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
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One of my friends just told me how they broke their phone even though it was in a shock absorbing case.

It was quite a break thru. A shocking discovery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AManInATopHat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an I-Phone in a blender?

Apple Juice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do a dog and a phone have in common?

They both have a collar ID

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FireTheCannons2468
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do they call phone sex in the Navy?

Nautical sex

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t cell phones work in a cemetery?

They are dead zones

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/an0m_x
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2019
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After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.

Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamWalton_of_Walmart
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The phone in my new room doesn't have hands-free

It's a holding cell

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rodney_skinner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2019
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At my work we sell internet and work with credit card info so we aren't allowed to bring mobil phones in.

So I turned to my manager yesterday and said "We may not be able to have cell phones, but we can have SALE phones."

Note: This my first post here and not 100% sure if this is a dad joke. If it doesn't belong here, do inform me where I could post it. Many thanks!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/James_Reacher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2019
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I tried to tear a phone book in half but I couldn't.

There really is strength in numbers.

(This was actually a mom joke directed at the dad trying unsuccessfully to tear a small phone book)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spinnerhead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I dropped my phone in mayonnaise today,

What the Hellman

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eprocket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why aren't phones allowed in jail or prison?

I mean, they are called cell phones.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Can you imagine what would happen if a phone exploded in a VR headset?

It must be mind blowing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EricICX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was madly tapping at her phone, looks up in frustration, and says "My sound isn't working".

To which I reply "I can hear you just fine".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DiedWhileDictating
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I dropped my phone in the lake...

It’s syncing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son just walked in and asked me to call his phone.

I called "JAKE'S PHONE!!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timmy5toes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped my phone in the bathtub.

Now it's syncing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LolISux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area.

Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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