No one told me you'd get an allergic reaction if you stood in between Anna Kendrick and Phil Collins

I didn't expect the Anna-Phil-Axis to be so severe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isa5589
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Phil is to blame for this one, nothing to do with me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Tomorrow, I get to meet Phil Collins

I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Before Socrates there was Phil
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πŸ‘€︎ u/comicoftheapes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Where does Phil Collins record his music?

In his stu-stu-studio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Phil’s always getting screwed...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My friend Phil loves to help people

He visits ant infested houses, kills all the ants for free with the condition of keeping dead ants' heads to himself.

He is a Phil-ant-trophist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mv041
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.

John left large shoes to Phil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lameguy13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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My friend Phil wore my dad's footwear yesterday

but his Shoes were too big to phil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmbhatt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Back in the 80's...I was a teenager full of obsessions, even Phil Collins was one of them. What the hell was thinking back then..

... But hey !! Take a look at me now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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A guy named Phil.

I once had a friend named Phil who would put extra salt on his noodles. He died of high cholesterol.

Can I get a Ramen?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThayPastaGuy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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People said that I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins...

But take a look at me now.

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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carterphillips_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Phil Swift had a Christmas Party

He calls it Flex Seal Navidad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mariposa5487
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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This is what I like to call β€œPhil Collins weather”

No Jacket Required

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unityforall
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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My friend Phil runs red lights.

It’s okay though. His business is contracted by the city to maintain them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firehead212
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I hope the place where Phil Collins records his vocals is referred to as the "Stu-Stustudio"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sternloyalty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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I was waiting in line for my tickets to the LA Phil last night when the box office staff asked "is everyone in this line here for Will Call? This is the line for Will Call."

To which I replied, "No, I'm here for Beethoven. Who the heck is Will Call?" Worth it for the few 'extra air out of the nose' laughs I got from the three people around me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numba1dmxfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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Where does the stuttering film director shoot Phil Collins' music video?

In the Stu-stu-studio.

Came up with this at work the other day. A customer asked for her purchase for free after I shared it with her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dreamerkid001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
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I work with an old man named Phil..

I few months back he asked if I'd seen the Phillips Head..

I told him to check his shoulders.

Laughed way too hard at my own joke that day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phiddle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Pittsburgh Penguins player Phil Kessel dadjoked the media. (x-post /r/hockey)

https://twitter.com/penguins/status/643509078795395072

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sumofparticles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
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Phil Dunphy...

β€œYou only get one chance at a first impression. I suggest Julia Child because it’s easy to do. β€˜Save the giblets’”

β€” Phil Dunphy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weymoa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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My dad called me in and told me: "Now we know that Phil really is the head of the household." (Crosspost from /r/DuckDynasty) imgur.com/fF9nmLh
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamdrew729
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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An infomercial hosted by a guy named Phil Swift came on, and my buddy says...

"Watch out for Phil Swift, he'll pull a fast one on you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradlomac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2014
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Never thought I would get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But Take A Look At Me Now...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazyDayZ420
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottish_Hot_Rod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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They said I'd never get over my Phil Collins obsession

...but take a look at me now!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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