I told a group of storm troopers “Happy Pew Year....”
But they totally missed the punchline.
Showerthought: The Hugo Award could be nicknamed The Pew-Pewlitzer.
Benches in churches are pews
Benches in synagogues are pewish
Why did Pepe’ Le Pew prefer small Spanish Swords?
Because they are a little rapier...
My therapist just told me I have extreme difficulty in picking up social cues.
I think she is in love with me.
What happens to someone who farts in church?
They have to sit in their own pew.
How do you make Holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call Remy when he goes with Linguini to the military?
What does a phaser sound like in church?
When Jedi go to church…
Do they sit in pew pew pews?
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...
***Pew***berty, in other words.
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
When a man farts in church...
To celebrate my cake day, I thought I'd give you all a pun.
What did the gunslinger see when he entered the church?
Why do atheists give away all their spare money ?
They're a non-prophet organization
When my mom was in labor, my head got stuck in her, and the midwife had to pull me out.
That’s how excited I was to see my little brother.
Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?
When you fire a Laser gun
https://imgur.com/gallery/TMpi7zN
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Hopefully one day I'll find an f-35
What do storm troopers and churches have in common?
You know your uncle went to WWII with a toy gun
Santa actually only had two reindeer
Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer).
Why is it rude to fart in church?
Because of everyone else that has to sit in your pew.
This morning I dropped my son off at school and said:"Bye son"
He replied: "Buffalo". It took me about 5 seconds to get it.
If you're injured, call the law offices of...
Passing a billboard for the law offices of Powell, Powell, and Powell, I said to my wife, "Those are the attorneys I would call."
"Why?"
"They're obviously the most Powell-ful firm in town."
How can you be sure you’ll always be able to find a seat in Star Wars church?
Because of all the pew-pew-pews!
What do laser guns and churches have in common?
How does a Catholic gun sound when used to shoot?
What happens when you fart in church?
What happens when you fart in church?
Where does a gamer sit when they go to church?
What sound does a bullet shot in church make?
Why's a church the worst place to go during a war?
Because of all the pews.
pew, pew, pew pew pew!
What did the stormtrooper say when he went into a church for the first time?
Pew. Pew, pew, pew. Pew, Pew.
Pew.
Did you hear about the battle down at the church?
What do laser guns and churches have in common?
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