I need your jokes

My gf is on her period. I have been telling her all day period puns and jokes. I am all out and i need your help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FellowCat69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table.....

Add the element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 873
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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My wife always make a big deal out of her periods .

I'd say she is ovary-acting .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supreme__shrek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?

Called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AspChef
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Periodically, I find a funny pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Ever heard about the woman who only did rap battles, when she was on her menstrual period?

They said she had a mean flow.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TPew1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?

Theoretical Fizz-ics

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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down under the periodic table.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....

Total ovary action.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Coming up with names for periods of time is really tiring.

The people who originally did it tried to figure out a word for a 24 hour period until sunset. Then they just gave up and called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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A semicolon got arrested

It got 2 back to back sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streamerbanana
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Jokes about menstruation are not funny.

Period.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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πŸ˜‚the accuracy...πŸ’₯
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimcyrus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?

Because it was the time of knights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I was very proud of myself :3
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loki12241224
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium

Me: 0Mg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Lazy Christmas morning, my wife is looking at the weather, says there will be periods of rain today.

I say, Damn! Do they make a pad for that? Without a pause, she says: Depends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?

The Sausages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.

It usually resulted in a long sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 776
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I saw a linguist about my problem with putting periods where. they don’t belong in sentences

I suffer from premature punctuatio!n

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...

***Pew***berty, in other words.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Without periods

The United States is just like the rest of us

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Commas are pointless.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lydia_Corsicana
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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β€œBro who’s periodic table is this?”

Bromine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HungTDD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?

Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig... So I changed everything and it changed my life!

I haven't looked Bach since!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A good pun requires periodic timing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atastycooky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I asked my wife β€œWhat’s it like having to deal with periods?”

She said β€œI just go with the flow”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.

The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unikorn9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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My wife made a graph to track her periods.

It's a flow chart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hybridtheory1331
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table.

Just elements of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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What happens when someone is put on hold for a long period of time?

They gain wait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Period
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D1SGUST1PAT3D
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I fell asleep last night while reading old magazines.

I woke up this morning with back issues.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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What virus ended the Jurassic Period?

Dino-SARS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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What do you call a bisexual girl on her period?

A Bicycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90sWannabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Chemistry Pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What is the period of euphoria after using methamphetamine called?

Aftermeth

Yeah, it's a "bad" joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schwwish
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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A periodic table
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πŸ‘€︎ u/periwinke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?

He was missing the point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Llama58-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Periods aren't bad

Its just women's ovary acting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaurya_Jain
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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I wanted to post something here for National Periodic Table Day...

But I'm out of my element.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Punctuation

Punctuation is very important for women. Missing a coma is ok but missing a period can sometimes be devastating.

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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I make elemental puns...

periodically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?

He called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What's your favourite element on the periodic table?

Mine's the element of surprise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strong91105
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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