My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

I told her, "I think you mean fewer".

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the pedantic mathematician say to her lover?

Oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh wherefore rβ€’Ο„ Romeo?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/99-bottlesofbeer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Pretty proud of my son ; wife isn't so much

This last weekend we went to an amusement park. Everything we went through the little things that spray water on you, my 9 year old would say, "Mist me." Every single time. My wife and daughter's reaction became more and more aggravated, but I felt pretty good about it.

πŸ‘︎ 494
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I want a gay son.

http://imgur.com/gallery/QeW3gl4

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxrepresent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
🚨︎ report
I wanted to dress up as an island last Halloween,

But my friends said "Don't be Scilly".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedi_Llama154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the most self centered fish?

A sailfish.

My 4 yr old daughter told me this joke. She’s a better dad joker than I am. So proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/upstom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a word spelled incorrect on dictionary.com dictionary.reference.com/…
πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_joe_cool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Grammar nerd dad joke.

Me: January is almost done. Then it will be February.

My girl: Yeah! Then I can finally be eight.

Me: Yes, but the correct form of the verb would be "eaten."

πŸ‘︎ 336
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bydawee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
🚨︎ report
So what if I don't know what the word 'Apocalypse' means?

Is it really the end of the world?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.