If you come to a line of cats, why do you have to pay to cross it?
Because it's a feline.
My family doesn't appreciate my humor.
As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
In college, my roommates and I were so broke that we couldn’t pay our electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of our lives.
If you don't pay your exorcist....
Will you get repossessed?
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
What do you call a lady who refuses to pay her bills?
People began paying the Hawaiian volcano goddess to lie down from time to time
They're calling it a pay lay
Warning: Do not buy tickets for the Eskimo lottery - they will sell you the ticket but they only pay out to native Eskimos.
You've got to be Inuit to win it
My friend told me their new job pays $300k, before taxes.
I said, "that's just gross.."
Today, on the news, there was an incident in my town where a city bus lost control and landed on top of a house. No one was killed and the city is paying all passengers.
I guess you can say the bus ride was on the house.
Local pasta maker has hired me as a consultant but they can’t pay me!
We have an arrangement though. Penne for my thoughts.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
How much did the squirrel pay for the car?
When I was a poor, struggling actor, I had to take a job getting spanked in a BDSM film just to pay the rent...
...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.
It was the darkest day of my life.
My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...
How does a skeleton pay for items?
Why does U2 never have to pay any of their laywers?
Because they are all Pro Bono.
How much do pirates pay for corn?
Somebody stole my Microsoft office and they're going to pay.
Have you heard about the Grizzly zoo that couldn't afford to pay the keepers?
It's pretty bear bones, now.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.
It was my climb-it change.
How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
I just spent three hours chasing all the water fowl out of my yard...
I need to pay for my horse's accommodation.
A woman walks into a music shop and finds an album for 95 cents and pays for it with a dollar
What happened when Santa didn't pay to park his sleigh?
I would love to get paid to sleep.
How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?
Tell em’ to keep the tip.
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
Paying bills is hard.
Some would call it taxing.
If you don't pay your exorcist....
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house!
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house.
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