You remind me of a newly paved road....

Re-tarred.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommieJayRL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...

...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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My Dad owns his own paving company.

He decided to do some work on his own drive way one weekend. He started to complain about how poorly the project was going, I told him well, it’s your own asphalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spruielled
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What’s a more concrete term for butt crack?

Asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhaleesiDog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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During my first month on the road paving crew, they always gave me all the worst jobs. I endured all of it, up until they put me on paint duty...

...that's where I finally had to draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Astronauts mix cement in space for the first time, paving the way for future space colonies. astronomy.com/news/2019/0…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghhuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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My father was disappointed when I told him I would be helping construct and pave a cul-de-sac.

He told me it was a dead-end job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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My town was trying to pave over the swamp in the middle of town for a new Kmart but the large water fowl with long beaks and a large throat pouches would not move...

They were a species of peliwon'ts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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I told my friend to build a road from his house to his job

Now he’ll pave the way to success

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Crazy Paving isn't all it's cracked up to be
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kielm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
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I have a fear of speed bumps...

but I'm slowly getting over them

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwagADoodleDoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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I never wanted to believe that my son was stealing from his job at the construction site

But when I got home, all the signs were there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MildBanana
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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I just saw some guys laying concrete in front of an elementary school.

They were paving the way for our youth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Daughter: fails exam

Mom: dear, remember, the road to success is paved with failure!

Dad: well, the road to failure is paved with failure as well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dray_son
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Things I learned: when asphalt became commonly used on roads, people got around more...

It paved the way!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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