Parade Float Puns

It was a moving performance, to say the least.

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"

We saw a parade that had Peter Pan with a float of Big Ben, and it was moving pretty quick for a parade float.

I turn to my girlfriend and say: "looks like that clocks running a little fast."

I'm not a Dad yet, but I feel like I'll be good at it.

>Dad: Are you a float? > >Mom: Why? > >Dad: Because you have a parade of cars waiting for you to turn!

My dad(who is a big LGBT ally) sees a float at pride parade with musicians playing the bagpipe. He leans over to me and says "I guess we should call them fagpipes now."