Oy vey
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sh_t72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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Oy vey!

Being the hostess of Thanksgivikkah dinner this year, I made a little speech about how blessed I was and how I loved everyone at our table. Dad said I should have started with a joke and then offered this one up:

"A rabbi, a minister, and a priest walk into a bar. The bar tender says, 'what is this? A joke'"!

Happy Thanksgiving!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gonzoparenting
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2013
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Oy...

My dad and I were taking the dogs for a walk at night and one of them ran into a tire. My dad's response:

"I guess he's a little tired!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LuckyStruck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2014
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What do Jews put on their Chinese food?

Oy sauce!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2020
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A Jewish man walks into a bar

mitzvah, where he is welcomed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2019
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The true beauty of a pun

Rests in the β€œoy” of the beholder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2019
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What's an "oying"?

This joke...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2016
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/txgsync
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2016
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I love my dad's humor

My parents are heading up to NY on vacation together. We have a group text that has my parents, my wife and I, my brother and his fiancee, and my sister. All day, half the family has been traveling for either work of vacation, so there have been a lot of texts about when people have boarded their flights or landed at their layovers of destinations. After 2 hours without any texts, here are the latest two texts we all got:

Mom: We got to NY!

Dad: Glad to hear it!

(remember, they're traveling together. Oy)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MattProducer
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2016
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Every time we go out to eat

My dad has certain lines that he likes, and he uses them over and over again. Whenever we're eating and someone says "Oy, I'm full." My dad replies "Full of what? Hah." Every time.

The worst part, I've heard this so many times that this is now MY first thought when someone says they're full!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fourfourjew
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2013
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1001 Dad Jokes: 5th edition
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ayellellwhyesesay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2013
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A termite walked into a bar

And asked, "Is the bartender here?"

... Took me a minute. Oy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PibRm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2014
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Talked to my dad on the phone today...

He asked if I has done anything fun recently, and I told him I had just gotten out of a fencing class. He asks, "What kind of fence did you make?"

Oy vey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptHayes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2013
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My step-father has been trying out dad jokes.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/step-dad-joke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2014
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