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︎ Nov 28 2016
Pun writing discord server?
Hi! Does anyone know if there are any discord servers specifically for writing wordplay or puns?
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︎ May 04 2020
John started working in a color pigment company...
John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.
However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'
Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."
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︎ May 22 2018
Bird Flu
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︎ Jan 09 2016
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasnβt happy at all. βHow much have you had to drink?β she asked sternly, staring at me. βNothingβ I slurred. βLook at me!β she shouted. βItβs either me or the pub, which one is it?β
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, βItβs you. I can tell by the voice.β
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
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︎ Dec 28 2020
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Idk if this is repost or not..
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
what ya gonna cry or somthin?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
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︎ Jan 25 2021
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
Theyβre all girls, otherwise theyβd be uncles!
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︎ Dec 29 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Who came first? The man or the woman?
The man, after about 30 seconds.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Not a repost, it's a crosspost or something, anyway, enjoy.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
My buddy Earl has never been late to work, school, or any appointment. Want to know his secret?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
IntellectuaL or something like that IDK I'm not that smart
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Me: Do you want to watch porn or golf?
Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
My wife asked if I wanted wine with dinner. I said sure. She said, do you want a stem or stemless glass?
"Doesn't matter to me, I am bi-stemual".
Absolute silence.
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︎ Jan 30 2021
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
What's heavier, water or butane?
Water... butane is a lighter fluid
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I have no real opinion on frogs or toads.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
It doesn't matter if youre straight, gay or bisexual
At the end of the day, its night
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︎ Dec 16 2020
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
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︎ Jan 24 2021
In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.
He was the original trip advisor.
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I got the sack for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non smoking.
Cremation or funeral was the correct term.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Why wasn't helium surprised or shocked when it won the lottery?
Because it's not a very good reactor
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My neighbor says Iβm trespassing. Iβm unsure if I am or not.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Believe it or not, my wife appreciates my input when we go shopping for decorations...
...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"
(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I told my doctor I keep dreaming I've turned into a wigwam or a teepee.
He said, "You're too tense".
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︎ Jan 19 2021
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just canβt afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
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︎ Dec 28 2020
what do you call a comedian that's not good or bad?
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︎ Dec 28 2020
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Did you hear about the 80s singer who was utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Iβm not sure if itβs true or false that he is the Prime Minister of Canada, but that his name is Justin
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Which is faster hot or cold ?
Hot !! As you can catch cold !
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Whatβs heavier, water or butane?
Butane is a lighter fluid
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︎ Dec 26 2020
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