Worst Jokes or Puns Ever! youtu.be/1hG3NMT58Bg
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fjgreat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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Embroidery / Needlework Puns

Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooHabits2625
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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Pun writing discord server?

Hi! Does anyone know if there are any discord servers specifically for writing wordplay or puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLukeThePuke
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.

However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'

Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Bird Flu

Epidemic, or pun?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlickBoogie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2016
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This st or that st?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supdawggg00
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Bit coin or something idk
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtyballsack
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Pure or purr?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvarka124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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How do you check if the eggs are boiled or not?

You eggs-amine them!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humoglobin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa_G_
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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Good night! Or morning whatever fits ur time :)
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChoaticTeaEnjoyer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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PLEASE BE CAREFUL! I don’t know if this is a scam or not?

I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won Β£250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show, then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.

Has anyone else had this?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuntCaseKid
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpahpa256
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Do you prefer gold or silver?

Because for me it's either ore.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThumbDriveMeCrazy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

……..

Or just a low ha? Don’t downvote me πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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We're all steakholders in these incidents. Corporations need to beef up security or these costs will go over the moon. Criminals can't get used to CEOs chickening out and paying. theguardian.com/food/2021…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Bend5385
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"

I said, "Window or you'll do what?

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What costs more, a ladder or a Lamborghini?

The latter

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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What weighs more 10 pounds of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers?

Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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As a family we couldn't decide whether to have our grandma buried or cremated ...

So we let her live.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebeccaGibson61
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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What runs faster hot or cold?

Hot, anybody can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theelfsmother
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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Whether you use your vacuum cleaner daily or not at all...

It's always going to collect dust.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanya_124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Oxygen Plant or something, idk I'm not into technology
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clark__Cant
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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My Boss asked me who the stupid one is, Me or Him?

I said, "Everybody knows, you don't hire stupid people. "

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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I don't know whether or not I should buy a new mattress...

I think I'll have to sleep on it

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcemzy
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Jesus didn't pay for our sins with cash or credit...

He used PrayPal.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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You can have a big lunch or a small lunch…

But a plant always has a light lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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I wasn't sure if my Australian optometrist was saying that I have good eyes or simply greeting me

He said "Good eye might."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicylemontaco42
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. β€œHow much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. β€œNothing” I slurred. β€œLook at me!” she shouted. β€œIt’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, β€œIt’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I asked Elon Musk if I should mine Bitcoin or Etherium...

He said I would be fine with Ether Ore

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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I don’t really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.

Either oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Dad joke question: has any rap song ever ended with β€œthat’s a wrap!” Or β€œtime to wrap it up”?

I would like to know this song.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Some people think that being a waiter is a bad job or the result of poor choices...

but hey, at least I put food on the table...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Bilingual food puns? I THINK YES. Here’s one my fellow Canadians or French speakers might enjoy... etsy.me/3nSI0bo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limechic
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A____K
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why do you never see Wonder Woman or the Amazons cry?

They don’t want to smear Themyscira

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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A person with no head or neck...

...is not capeable.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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If you have trouble believing someone is telling the truth or not; ask them if they like big butts

For they cannot lie

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo

The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobody492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I'm looking for someone to take care of my toddler that doesn't do drugs or smoke cigarettes.

Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.

Either it sucks or it sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Don't know if this is a scam, but I just received a text saying I'd won Β£250 cash or 2 VIP tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says, " Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I don’t know if this is a scam or not? I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won $250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show...

Then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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