Christmas dinner, 2013. My mother in law is asked if she'd like some wine, is offered choices, Pinot Grigio, Mulled Apple or Cabernet. She's indecisive for a minute or so. Eventually, she settles on the apple wine. Her father comments, "well that sure took a long time."
I retorted with, "Well, she had to mull it over for a bit."
Simultaneously, 4 generations of women roll their eyes at me, while the guys all laugh.
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.
It would be the herd shot ’round the world.
It will be the herd shot 'round the world.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner
Details are Mir-ky
They just don't understand the gravity of the situation.
It was a high steaks mission.
I'll never forget Juan Solo.
They got bored and called it a day.
Because it’s no longer auto immune.
(Told to my by my actual dad. The screenshot of his text got removed from /r/funny :( )
He got stuck in Orbit.
If you ask me that's pretty astronomical.
He can't find a park-in-space.
A waste of space.
...apparently it was the herd shot 'round the world.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
One year.
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was incredible
Spudnik
Two NASA engineers were arguing over the feasibility of building a high tech satellite that could see everything, anywhere in the galaxy, by orbiting a spherical lens around a mirrored device at various ranges of orbit. An application controlling the length of the O-Range (range of orbit) would pull the lens in, then release it, and centripetal force would pull it out again. The length of the "app pull", the distance the application would pull the lens back from orbit, had to be precise to ensure proper visibility at all times.
One of the scientists argued that the math to ensure total visibility at all times did not work. Eventually, they brought in another scientist to settle the argument. After several moments reviewing the math the two scientists had done on the board, their colleague spoke out.
"It's so obvious why you two cannot come to a conclusion," he said, "you're comparing app pulls to o-ranges!"
He is planning to leave it in a parking orbit.
Happy sun orbit dad jokers!
... she asked me, "are any hot?"
I said, "Yes, Mercury and Venus are hot because they are so close to the sun."
She asked, "Are any cold?"
"Yes, the ones outside our orbit are cold. Mars, Jupiter and so on."
"What color are they?", she asked...
"Well, the Earth is blue and green, Mars is red because of iron, Jupiter has a cool red spot..."
"What color is Uranus?"
.... .... ....
"It's brown, and very windy."
Wife: I just swept, I don't understand where all of this dog hair came from.
Me: Probably the dog.
The eye roll was likely visible from orbit.
I was on the phone with my dad tonight and telling him about this subreddit in response to something he had said. He started spouting jokes at me like rapid fire.
Dad: You know what would happen if the bassist from Led Zeppelin went on tour with the drummer of the Beatles?
Me: I dunn-....
Dad: They'd be John Paul Jones & Ringo!! You know who the hillbilly was that discovered the Beatles?
Me: Who?
Dad: Buddy Epstein [Buddy Ebsen/Brian Epstein]!!! Who was the first Beatle to orbit the earth three times?
Me: Oh, my God...John Glennon?
Dad: See? You should post those to your forum! These are all winners, here!
He's stuck in orbit.
