That’s the last time I do stand-up!
Me: "This next song was written for two people, but since my partner couldn't make it I'll just have to duet alone."
Crowd: collective groan
The entire crowd rolled their eyes together, but at least I played well!
Wednesday is open mic night.
The mic was open for toasts to the married couple. they were calling for any last toasts. I got up, borrowed somebody's bun from the luncheon, and whipped this one up.
This is bread, and this is a toast (raises glass). I love you guys!
There was only silence afterward.
My folks own a bar with a banquet area and Louie Anderson is performing tonight. My Dad is going to open the show with one joke that he is really excited about.
Picture him standing at the mic in a empty banquet hall, I'm standing in the middle of the room as he is "testing" the joke on me.
"A termite walks into a bar, looks around and asks "Where's the bar tender?""
...
I'm going to try and get this on video tonight.
