1. What is the most important drink in life?
Vitali-tea.
2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?
A wet blanket with a wet blanket.
3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.
A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.
4. What do you call introverted window blinds?
A shutter-in.
5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?
Dat doe dough 'dough.
6. What do you call a plant's religion?
Agri-culture.
7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?
A Charger's phone charger.
8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?
High noon.
That's all I got.
Every time this queer couple lied to their son, he would see right through them.
>they were trans-parent.
Opinions
A flaming-O
Paddy Oβfurniture
A loan again, naturally.
My dad just came out with this on the sofa, not sure if he read it elsewhere but all the same he's very chuffed with himself.
Irritable Vowel Syndrome
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed.
My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count."
Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
Shaquille Oβatmeal.
They called it Shaqwave.
Because O was to negative.
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
Heβs trying to cut a panini sandwich and said βThis knife is not gonna cut it.β
Happy No L!
Pumpkin Pi
A-TEN-SON!
A pumpkin patch
He had Gnocchi
Paddy O'Dining
Her name is Cardi O
Just donβt pick it up
Edit: piece I before E except after c
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museumβs famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings theyβve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words youβve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?
I told him they were the letters of recommendation.
It was misread to be Type O blood. I guess you could call it a typo.
Love Shaq
A suicide boomer
dad: βwhy do i need to make more jokes? iβve already made you
With a pumpkin patch.
Opinions.
Pumpkin Pi
Because they're all not 'C's.
Flamingo
