My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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After years of obstructing my view, I ripped off the rearview mirrors on my car.

Since then, I haven't looked back.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_SWEET
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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If you happen to find beaver obstructions inside a secure safe, let me know.

That’s my own dam vault.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NauticallyNifty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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What did the chef do when he was told that he was obstructing the poker game?

Raised the steaks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnaEstVeritas_
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant...

While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shimaxed
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What do you call a blockage in an ice dispenser?

An obstruction of justice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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Why should you never shower with a pokemon?

Because he might Pikachu!

I used to get to do these all the times. When the drawer got stuck I would wrestle the obstruction inside blocking it and exclaim that this would not be a problem if we just had a lesser cheese grater...I began to love bombing there for a while. Ah...

Edit- no one got the grater joke then either, don't feel bad. but it was on the spot so it didn't need all the setup i ruined here. Try this for your brains: Our drawers often had a lot of utensils and stuff in them, and some of it was also big, like the cheese grater. That would get jostled and end up on top of a fork pile or whatever and be up high enough in the drawer to keep the thing from opening, ie the drawer would open to where the grater hit the back of it and jam the works up, right? the grater was too great. i needed a lesser grater so the drawer wouldnt get jammed. Did that help?

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSpaceYeti
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2013
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Thought of a good one while at work today (slightly morbid depending on your outlook)

I work in the claims department at a life insurance company. A recent addition to our department mentioned that she had an insured who died from a bowel obstruction. I couldn't help but say: "Sounds like a real shitty way to go..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/three-eyed-crow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
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