Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?


πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Wish me luck. Tomorrow I start my internship at an electric company.

It’s my induction day.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karroul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I built a vodka still that uses an electromagnetic heating coil...

I call it proof by induction.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimurHasWords
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Watching Rangers vs Penguins game when..

Dad randomly chuckles and says "If Sidney Crosby kidnapped Rick Nash's son, it would be Crosby Steals Nash's Young." I laugh, girlfriend and mother groan.

πŸ‘︎ 215
πŸ‘€︎ u/basscreator22
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
🚨︎ report
My first child was just a few hours old when i made my very first official dad joke a few days ago.

My wife was figuring out how to breastfeed for the first time and she asked herself out loud, "How do I know if she is rooting for the nipple?" I told her that it would sound something like this, "Go nipple go nipple go! Go nipple go nipple go!" She rolled her eyes and my dad status was officially achieved. I'm looking forward to a long, successful career.

πŸ‘︎ 346
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebestisyetocome
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
🚨︎ report
The world’s greatest cannibal chef just made sushi out of his family

He got inducted into the Raw Kin Roll Hall of Fame

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/duositex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Cow jokes

My carpool buddy was hitting me with these on the way to work today.

"What car do classy cows drive? "

  • Cowdillacs

"What cars do redneck cows drive?"

  • Cowmaros and Moostangs. I added that they are also a fan of COWl induction.

"Who's the longest standing baseball player?"

  • Cowl Ripken

"Have you heard of the famous bovine biologist, Jaques Cowsteau?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/makaimashava
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Talking about a dinosaur's diet

Me: "My brother is on the paleo diet at the moment - Perhaps it similar - He keeps eating chicken on it's own from the packet."

Colleague: "Well I think in dinosaur times they didn't have packaging and Sainsbury's and the like."

Me: "No I suppose not, and they didn't really have fire either, so cooking was pretty much out of the question unless they had induction."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/cronnyberg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.