Nonconcentric Puns

There are a lot of conditions in 5e however much of the time you need to be concentrating on a spell to impose these conditions.

I think it is important to identify (or at least interesting to think about) which ways there are to impose these conditions without concentration for 2 reasons:

• you can synergize effects with concentration features

• barbarians can use many of these abilities while raging

General synergies:

• Ability Checks: stunned, paralyzed, poisoned, frightened allows disadvantaging/disabling ability checks to improve grappling and reduced the chances of breaking free of restraint/pushing spells (entangle, gust of wind, etc.)

• Saving Throws: stunned/paralyzed disabling strength/dex saving throws. Restrained disadvantages dex saves.

• Attacks: stunned, paralyzed, restrained, prone (attacks within 5ft.) give advantage to spell attacks

• Crits: automatic crits from paralysis and unconscious

This list is probably incomplete because I had to comb a lot of data and I could use help to fill it. I'm ignoring true polymorph and magic items because it would make the list blow up.

Blinded

• color spray spell
• blindness/deafness spell
• pyrotechnics spell
• contagion: blinding sickness spell
• divine word spell
• prismatic spray (violet) spell
• sunburst spell
• prismatic wall spell
• roll of 8 on wild magic barbarian
• radiant weapon infusion (artificer 6)

Charmed

• animal friendship spell
• charm person spell
• charm monster spell
• geas spell
• awaken spell
• fey step for autumn eladrin
• fey presence (archfey warlock 1)
• channel divinity: charm animals and plants (Nature cleric 2)
• enthralling performance (glamour bard 3)
• shadow lore (whisper bard 14)
• beguiling arrow (arcane archer 3)
• create thrall (GOOlock 14)
• fey reinforcements (fey wanderer 11)
• channel divinity: order's command (order cleric 2)

Deafened

• blindness/deafness spell
• divine word spell

Frightened

• channel divinity (conquest, vengeance paladin 2)
• fey presence (archfey warlock 1)
• dragon fear
• menacing attack (combat maneuver)
• Dread form (undead warlock 1)
• beguiling twist (fey wanderer 7)
• quasit (chain pact warlock 3)
• intimidating presence (berzerker barbarian 10)
• antipathy spell
• symbol: fear spell
• fey step: winter eladrin
• hour of reaping (long death monk 6)
• words of terror (whisper bard 3)
• create undead spell: mummy

Grappled

• attack action: grapple
• moon druid forms that grapple on hit

I guess r/conspiracy really is open for everybody to contribute to

I remember a recent "hot" post regarding Peace as a good dip, with which I agree.

Overall, Cleric 1-2 can be useful insofar as Guidance is a good out-of-combat cantrip both level 1 abilities and Channel Divinities aren't spellcasting.

And yet, Peace aside, which dip would the hive mind gun for on a Barb if given the opportunity?
For the sake of the argument, let's imagine

a) a standard Str melee damage dealer and b) a Dex Barb with proficiency in Stealth.

Personally, I'd take Life or War for a) and Twilight, maybe Knowledge, for b).

Trickery's CD, sadly, requires concentration, though if I could go Cleric 3, Pass Without Trace would be an asset.

Which ones would be your favourites?

Thank you for your feedback!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

And now I’m cannelloni

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

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My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!