New Year's Resolution Puns

A list of puns related to "New Year's Resolution"

my new years resolution is

1280 x 768

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👤︎ u/sickolelele
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

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👤︎ u/Ben716
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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I've been reading so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently, that I've made a firm new year's resolution..

..NO MORE READING !!

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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What are your resolution going to be for the new year?

Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?

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👤︎ u/OliveOcelot
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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New Year's Resolution
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👤︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”

So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Dec 21 2020
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I found it easier to follow my new year's resolution after I misspelled it.

I am now on a no-crab diet

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👤︎ u/ObviouslySyrca
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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My new years resolution

Its 1080 p

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👤︎ u/NullOrSumthing
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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What's the best New Year's resolution?

1080p.

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👤︎ u/red8user
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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Happy New Year! Remember kids, you need to make some good resolutions to become a better version of yourself.

If you don’t, they’ll just go in one year and right out the other.

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👤︎ u/RhaenSyth
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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My New Years resolution is to finally get in shape.

Round... possibly pear... I haven’t decided yet.

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👤︎ u/CaymanRich
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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My wife: what's your new year resolution?

Me: 8K

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👤︎ u/1holyDevil
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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Day two: I have a fantastic New Years resolution

1080P

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👤︎ u/pizzatron574
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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My New year's resolution is to stop binge eating Xmas leftovers...

I'm going to quit cold turkey.

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👤︎ u/thomasthetanker
📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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My New Year’s Resolution this year is to stop second guessing everything.

Wait, is that even a good enough resolution? Idk

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👤︎ u/salvedavus
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

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👤︎ u/ohsopoor
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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My one new years resolution was to start to use my Velcro wall more.

So far I'm sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/jdollard333
📅︎ Jul 29 2020
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My new year's resolution is to stay alive

It's a do or die

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👤︎ u/FlankyCranky
📅︎ May 22 2020
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My New Year's resolution is to save enough money to buy a Velcro wall.

And I plan on sticking to it!

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 29 2020
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If you got a 4k TV for Christmas, your New Year's resolution is 3840 x 2160.
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👤︎ u/StarkeStrawberry
📅︎ Jan 01 2020
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I've finally decided on my 2018 New Years resolution

My 2018 New Years resolution is to stop postponing things.

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👤︎ u/Lord_Double_D
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
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So my new year resolution for 2020....

Is to see more clearly.

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👤︎ u/Codeman32456
📅︎ Dec 29 2019
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My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted

It’s my 2020 vision

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👤︎ u/AnthMaster7
📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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Wanna know my New Year's Resolution?

1080p full HD.

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👤︎ u/NotoriousHothead37
📅︎ Jan 01 2020
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My 2020 New Year's resolution is to finish my 2019 resolution. My goal was to lose 10 lbs.

Only 25 pounds to go!

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👤︎ u/Talon184
📅︎ Jan 02 2020
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Yesterday, my mom didn’t expect that my dad’s new year’s resolution was to stop looking at other women’s breasts.

I guess hindsight is 2020

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👤︎ u/mega-yeet
📅︎ Jan 01 2020
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My wife told me to pick a bigger New year's resolution than "watch more sports on TV".

Unfortunately, our TV only does 1080p 60fps.

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👤︎ u/My_Name_O
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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New Year's Resolution

I told my wife I would be more healthy and exercise this year. It didn't “workout”.

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👤︎ u/Suffer-My-Desire
📅︎ Jan 02 2019
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Me: Hey dad, what’s your New Years Resolution?

Dad: I think I’m gonna stick with 4K.

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👤︎ u/ajd011394
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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I have a new years resolution to stop drinking

For the 29th and 30th February

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👤︎ u/Obimark
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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New Year’s resolution

My New Year’s resolution is to be more limber and athletic, so I asked the instructor at my gym: “Can you teach me to do the splits in 4 weeks?”

Instructor: ”That depends; how flexible are you?”

Me: ”I can’t make Tuesdays”

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👤︎ u/chronicdane
📅︎ Jan 03 2019
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Got asked what my new year's resolution was

Told them "Same as last year, 1920 X 1080"

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👤︎ u/manuel_f_p
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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My new year resolution is to do things in time.
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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Feb 07 2019
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My new years RESOLUTION is to run a 5k... Display
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👤︎ u/onesmallserving
📅︎ Jun 04 2015
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My New Years Resolution

2560x1440

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👤︎ u/Silver4ura
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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I have a new year resolution

720p

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👤︎ u/DRZBYC
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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Most people don’t to their New Years resolution

Because they go in one year and out the other

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👤︎ u/onion-volcano
📅︎ Jul 09 2020
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My New Years resolution this year is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.

I’m planning on sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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My New year's resolution is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.

I'm planning on sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/thegasketmaker
📅︎ Dec 31 2019
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My new year's resolution is the same for 2020 as it was in 2019

1080p

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👤︎ u/ThereCanBeOnly1Juan
📅︎ Dec 30 2019
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I'm just about ready to start my new years resolution

To stop procrastinating.

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👤︎ u/1kings2214
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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New years resolution.

My new years resolution is to be more careful, or should I say, more janu-wary.

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👤︎ u/Tateyhead
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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For 2020 my new years resolution is to think about my worst failures

because hindsight is 2020

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👤︎ u/tarqee223
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.....
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👤︎ u/runew0lf
📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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Someone: So what's your New Year's resolution?

Me: 1080p

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👤︎ u/89odev
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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My New Year's Resolution

2560×1440

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👤︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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New Year’s Resolution...

3840 x 2160

So glad I picked up that new TV in the sales.

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👤︎ u/knightcastle
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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What’s your New Years resolution?

Mines 3840 x 2160.

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👤︎ u/capitain_clark
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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