You can never "run" through a camp ground.
You can only "ran" because it's past tents.
(Sorry if this has been posted before. I just joined this sub)
Giraffes can never apologize to each other.
It takes them too long to swallow their pride.
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Why are mathematicians never constipated?
They can always work it out with a pencil.
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
Never thought of it like that haha
Never ever spell part backwards,
Your nose will never be 12 inches long
Because then it would be a foot.
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
...never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around...
Never marry a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
My girlfriend broke up with me because I never buy her flowers.
I didn't even know she sold flowers.
What's something a drug dealer would never ask?
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
Never scream into a colander.
You’ll strain your voice.
A lion would never play golf.
Never trust an atom, they make up everything...
But I know I can trust molecules, we have chemistry.
Palpatine voice Ionic...
I could never date a woman wearing makeup all the time.
They'd think something was wrong with me.
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
My grown son asked me how I never seemed to lose the tv remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Fathers actually never joke about adoption tho
Gimme some sweet karma for an account I'll never use again
I never understood the invention of circles
Why do astronauts never get depressed, even if they stay in outer space for months?
There's nothing there to bring them down
We never listen
I wrote my girlfriend a complex poem on a piece of Kleenex. But as it turns out, it was a deep tissue massage that she wanted, not a deep tissue message.
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?
I have a rare condition that means I never get days off from work.
It’s due to my weekend immune system
Never drink with ghosts...
they can't handle their boos.
Sometimes Sundays are really sad, but I noticed today that they are never the saddest of the week
The day before is always a sadder day
Never trust stairs, they are always up to something
after the accident, he was never the same
Why do soccer referees never fold in poker?
Because they always call the flop.
It might interest you to know that French Fries have never even been made in France.
They've only ever been made in Greece.
All my life I thought Simon and Garfunkel never performed a song about a boxer.
But it turned out to be a lie-la-lie, lie-la-lie-la-lie-la-lie...
Never go fishing with a dj
They keep dropping the bass
Never date a dental hygienist
They'll never talk about how great you are, but they'll keep finding your floss.
Never dismiss someone's views on circumcision
Consider all the circumstances.
I've never owned a telescope...
But, it's something I'm considering looking into.
I never understood why this guy hosts so many tournaments.
Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?
You'll regret it in autumn when it leaves
One thing I'll never do is tell dad jokes
Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....
Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!
Why do crabs never give to charity!?
Because they are shellfish
How come a one-armed man never asks for help?
He prefers to do things single-handedly.
Why should you never pick on a pig dressed all in black?
Because Batman is sworn to protect Goth Ham
my girlfriend complained that i never buy her flowers
i never know she sold flowers
Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
You can never run through a camp site!
You can only ran...cause it's past tents
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
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