You can never "run" through a camp ground.
You can only "ran" because it's past tents.
(Sorry if this has been posted before. I just joined this sub)
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︎ May 19 2021
Giraffes can never apologize to each other.
It takes them too long to swallow their pride.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
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︎ May 08 2021
Why are mathematicians never constipated?
They can always work it out with a pencil.
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︎ May 22 2021
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
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︎ May 09 2021
Never thought of it like that haha
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Never ever spell part backwards,
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Your nose will never be 12 inches long
Because then it would be a foot.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
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︎ Apr 09 2021
...never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around...
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Never marry a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
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︎ May 18 2021
My girlfriend broke up with me because I never buy her flowers.
I didn't even know she sold flowers.
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︎ May 17 2021
What's something a drug dealer would never ask?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Never scream into a colander.
Youβll strain your voice.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
A lion would never play golf.
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︎ May 13 2021
Never trust an atom, they make up everything...
But I know I can trust molecules, we have chemistry.
Palpatine voice Ionic...
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︎ May 08 2021
I could never date a woman wearing makeup all the time.
They'd think something was wrong with me.
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︎ May 18 2021
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
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︎ May 15 2021
My grown son asked me how I never seemed to lose the tv remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
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︎ May 17 2021
Fathers actually never joke about adoption tho
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Gimme some sweet karma for an account I'll never use again
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I never understood the invention of circles
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Why do astronauts never get depressed, even if they stay in outer space for months?
There's nothing there to bring them down
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I have a rare condition that means I never get days off from work.
Itβs due to my weekend immune system
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︎ May 02 2021
We never listen
I wrote my girlfriend a complex poem on a piece of Kleenex. But as it turns out, it was a deep tissue massage that she wanted, not a deep tissue message.
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︎ May 21 2021
Never drink with ghosts...
they can't handle their boos.
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︎ May 05 2021
Sometimes Sundays are really sad, but I noticed today that they are never the saddest of the week
The day before is always a sadder day
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︎ May 02 2021
Never trust stairs, they are always up to something
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︎ May 01 2021
It might interest you to know that French Fries have never even been made in France.
They've only ever been made in Greece.
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︎ May 13 2021
Why do soccer referees never fold in poker?
Because they always call the flop.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
after the accident, he was never the same
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Never go fishing with a dj
They keep dropping the bass
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Never date a dental hygienist
They'll never talk about how great you are, but they'll keep finding your floss.
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︎ May 18 2021
Never dismiss someone's views on circumcision
Consider all the circumstances.
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︎ May 13 2021
I've never owned a telescope...
But, it's something I'm considering looking into.
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︎ May 14 2021
I never understood why this guy hosts so many tournaments.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?
You'll regret it in autumn when it leaves
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︎ May 11 2021
One thing I'll never do is tell dad jokes
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....
Unless youβre ready for the reaper cushions!
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Why do crabs never give to charity!?
Because they are shellfish
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︎ May 13 2021
How come a one-armed man never asks for help?
He prefers to do things single-handedly.
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︎ May 19 2021
Why should you never pick on a pig dressed all in black?
Because Batman is sworn to protect Goth Ham
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︎ May 20 2021
Why do you never see Wonder Woman or the Amazons cry?
They donβt want to smear Themyscira
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︎ May 18 2021
What question can you never answer with a βyesβ?
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︎ Apr 20 2021
my girlfriend complained that i never buy her flowers
i never know she sold flowers
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
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︎ Feb 04 2021
You can never run through a camp site!
You can only ran...cause it's past tents
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
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︎ May 01 2021
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