20 Hilarious Muppets Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.

They said, he doesn't count!

I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"

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👤︎ u/BastetLXIX

📅︎ Mar 02 2021

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Why would a member of The Muppets be arrested?

For Kermitting a crime

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👤︎ u/JLGoodwin1990

📅︎ Jan 25 2021

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Master of None•••Pastor of Muppets

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👤︎ u/parenthetical_phrase

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

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The Muppets teamed up with NASA to name a newly discovered celestial object.

Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet Defrog here."

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👤︎ u/salawm

📅︎ Jul 19 2020

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I'm pretty sure that The Muppet Show is not unscripted

It always seems like someone is pulling the strings

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👤︎ u/MasterCheezOtter

📅︎ Aug 04 2020

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What was the name of that one promiscuous muppet that looked like Dracula?

You don’t know? Well, it’s the thot that counts.

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👤︎ u/SylveonFrusciante

📅︎ Jun 08 2020

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An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World

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👤︎ u/AdamWestsButtDouble

📅︎ Feb 15 2020

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What do you get when you mix Ozzy Osbourne with a muppet?

Fozzie Osbourne.

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👤︎ u/Hephsters

📅︎ Oct 03 2019

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Why shouldn’t muppets date each other?

They can never stay Kermited.

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👤︎ u/SkippTheRipper

📅︎ Feb 15 2019

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What’s a muppet’s favorite fruit?

Bana-nana

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👤︎ u/easy-dub

📅︎ Jan 20 2019

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Muppets aren’t sexual...

They just want to be felt.

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👤︎ u/chris3000

📅︎ Sep 19 2018

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'To Morrow', from The Muppet Show youtube.com/watch?v=JEilP…

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👤︎ u/Caligapiscis

📅︎ Jul 31 2013

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A farmer said to me “I have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”

I said sure. 70.

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👤︎ u/rfcoc

📅︎ Dec 17 2020

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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

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👤︎ u/proweld7

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

About halfway!

Note: Shamelessly stolen from the Muppet Movie.

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👤︎ u/Blisspoint2

📅︎ Jul 06 2020

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My dad was very upset when our bunnies escaped.

It’s his worst fear - hare loss.

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👤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit

📅︎ Sep 24 2018

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It is not infact.

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👤︎ u/sohrabhamza

📅︎ Jan 28 2019

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Future wife wears support socks.

Future wife was getting ready for work and put on these socks that I hadn't seen before. I asked what they were and she said they were supportive socks... I immediately grabbed one out of her drawer and put it on my hand like a sock puppet and spoke with a high-pitched muppet voice.

Puppet: You look nice today.
Puppet: You're going to have a great day.
Puppet: You can do it!
Her: What are you doing?
Puppet: Being supportive.
Me: &lt;laughs&gt;
Her: Oh my God.

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👤︎ u/stevebobmike

📅︎ Jun 27 2014

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How would Kermit and Ms Piggy get married?

Pastor of Muppets, pulling the strings...

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👤︎ u/PowerRaptor

📅︎ Jun 25 2018

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I was asked who my favorite vampire is. I said “the muppet from Sesame Street”

They told me “he doesn’t count!”. I replied “I assure you he does”.

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👤︎ u/Scaulbylausis

📅︎ Mar 04 2021

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