A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."

"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you make a coffin with? Mourning wood.

Ha...Ha

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cory-gang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Mourning wood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goosetropolis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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What do you say to a mourning pebble?

"My sediments"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSepiks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I hate how funerals are at 9am. I'm not really a mourning person.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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I asked my dad are you still mourning the loss of mum.

He replied no, now I'm afternooning her loss.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unit1601
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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Wife said she was wearing black today because she was in mourning...

Me: What are you wearing in the afternoon?
Wife: :::blinks twice and walks away:::

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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What do funeral directors eat for breakfast?

Mourn flakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corbin125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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His pyramid was β€œerected” many years ago
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRiki24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Every October 31st, my dog begins baying loudly a loud, prolonged, mournful cry...

I guess he likes to celebrate Howloween...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"

His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquarian9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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When is it appropriate to grieve?

During the mourning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R4Gamble
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Why do I always cry when I wake up?

It’s too early in the mourning!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papserk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Pretty much speaks for itself
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Am-Sleep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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I got kicked out of a funeral for having an erection

Jeez, can’t a guy have mourning wood?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruh-bruh_bruh
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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Did you know it's not uncommon to get a boner at a funeral?

It's known as mourning wood

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinsy_Crow
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Someone tried to invite me to a funeral at 5 AM

I am not a mourning person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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What do you call a sad but horny tree?

Mourning Wood

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moomoocowninja
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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this meme is fire
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvilMurloc22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Why did the widow join a marathon?

It was her mourning run.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andeleidun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the pregnant woman throw up at the funeral?

Mourning sickness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddenLayer5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Those who cry professionally,

Give a whole new meaning to good mourning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-fuhrer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Recently, a race of bird people and a society of necromancers has gone to war.

It's the Knight owls Vs the Mourning people.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ronnoc67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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What do you call a forest at a funeral?

Mourning wood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmbossman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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It's been a rough year. I've been to 3 funerals.

And I'm not a mourning person.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arutkow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Daughter: I have to do a report on sinkholes. Me: Oh, well do you know the best kind of sinkhole?

Sinkhole de Mayo

πŸ‘︎ 855
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danbertgilbs
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2016
🚨︎ report
What happens when night dies?

Mourning

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henhen21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Know the difference

Morning wood: An erection in the morning

Mourning Wood: Rocket Racoon in Avengers Infinity war and Endgame

Know the difference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squish-Mahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes when I’m sad I get an erection....

I call that my mourning wood.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaggyoda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The day after our son died my wife came to me and said she felt like she wasn’t grieving properly and she felt bad.

The next day I woke up to her sobbing and I told her β€œgood mourning!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrimReaper666-777
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a necrophiliac get at an open casket funeral?

Mourning wood.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SansCulture
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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How do you greet someone at a funeral?

Good mourning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Is_A_Healer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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We attended my sister's boyfriend's funeral at 9 A.M. yesterday, but she didn't seem very upset and didn't cry at all. I asked her why and she said,

She's not really a mourning person.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadySparta729
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What are caskets made of?

Mourning Wood

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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I don’t get sad when people die.

I guess I’m not a mourning person.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmLuke0
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Why did the man refuse to stand up at a funeral?

He had mourning wood.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What do you make a coffin out of?

Mourning wood.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cory-gang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am

I'm really not a mourning person.

πŸ‘︎ 500
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akien0222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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I hate early-morning funerals.

I'm not really a mourning person.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/limeyptwo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What would a boner at a funeral be called?

Mourning wood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Phlip_Phlop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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I hate that funerals are always in the A.M.

I'm just not a mourning person

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Antonioooooo0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Funeral

I hate how funerals are at 9am or 10 am.
I'm not a mourning person

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
🚨︎ report

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