Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
Just heard the world paper tearing champion has died....
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
The wedding was so touching that
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
I got tear free soap in my eye
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying
When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.
But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.
He said, "No hablo Ingles."
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
What do you do when you accidentally tear Lord Elrond’s woven cloak?
I only got eleven of them, tear wisely
Protestant hits tear gas back
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???
What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?
You hear the joke about paper?
No? It’s ok it was TEAR-able
I have one about pizza but it’s cheesy
A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...
Dad joked by an 81-year-old woman
I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. I asked her if she was worried about having her blood drawn and she said that the blood draw didn’t bother her, but that she was upset because she had hit a cat with her car on the way to her appointment this morning. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I asked her how badly the cat was hurt and she said “I think he’s going to be alright. I just clipped the hind end of him, but his tail is just barely hanging on. After I leave here, I’m taking him straight to Wal-Mart.”
I told her that she might be better off taking the cat to a veterinary clinic instead of Wal-Mart and she said, “but it’s just his tail, and Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in North America!”
If an athlete tears their ACL,
They’ll probably kneed surgery.
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he broke down into tears.
He turned towards me and said, "One would've been enough, son."
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said:
Y’know, one would have been enough.
Today my son asked "can I have a book mark" and I burst in tears
19 years old and he still does not know my name is Luke
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said:
"you know, one would have been enough"
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
Y'know, one would have been enough.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesn’t know my names Brian.
Today my son asked "can i have a book mark?" I burst into tears.
He is 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian
Today, my son asked "Can i have a book mark?" And i burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesnt know my name is Brian
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Today, my son asked "Can I have a bookmark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
A wife sent her husband a romantic text message…
She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said:
You know, one would have been enough.
Today my son asked "Can I have a book mark" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian
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