You have your mother in law, father in law, son in law doughter in law but your wife is

The law

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24
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At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it

I told her it’s so he can cut corners

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpnCodpiece
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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Me and my mother-in-law's relationship in a nut shell.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usdsquare
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...

I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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My mother-in-law always wanted to visit the Valley of a Thousand Hills, so I've booked her trip -

a week on each hill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Which dad had the best mother-in-law?

Adam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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We came back from the ultrasound, and my mother in law said, β€œDid you get to see the fetus?”

I said, β€œFetus, Hand-us, Leg-us, There’s practically a whole baby in there!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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It was very difficult to switch off my mother-in-law’s life support system.

I had to fight my wife and two doctors to do it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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"Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door....

She replied, "my name is Anna!"

I said, "Yes! Yes I know "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warshadow
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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My mother-in-law asked me to drop her to church and I did it.

We were in an airplane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyyppi_00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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So, I was walking with my wife on the street, and we saw 6 six guys beating up my mother-in-law

Wife yells: Hey, aren't you going to help??

Me: No, six should be enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/london710
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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I picked up my newborn daughter to stop her crying. Mother-in-law commented- "Wow, she really settled for you quickly!"

"Just like her mother."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gravityrider
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
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My Mother-in-Law responded to an unsolicited fax with an amazing dad joke.

My MiL received this unsolicited fax at her office. My wife suggested she should fax something clever back. She delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 879
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plutoniumhead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
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Took my mother-in-law out last night.

Loving my new sniper rifle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgambo93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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My Catholic mother in law is renovating her kitchen.

It’s a counter reformation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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I’ve decided I’m not going to buy my mother-in-law a Christmas present this year.

She still refuses to plug-in the chair I bought for her last year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badgerstarter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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I bought my mother in law a gift . She didn't seem to appreciate it too much.

I thought it was a very nice plot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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My mother-in-law says I should bury myself in my work.

I don't think she likes me — I drive a cement mixer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Dadjoked my mother-in-law today...

My young daughter is still learning to microwave food. She attempted to reheat some of her food last night, but left the fork in the bowl. The wife caught it and pointed out that it could cause the microwave to explode and potentially hit grandma who was sitting with her back to the microwave.

Wife (to daughter): "You wouldn't want Grandmom to get hit by glass shrapnel and a fork would you?"

Me (interjecting): "Well, at least then I would have a reason to say your Mom is really forked in the head."

The MIL nearly choked on her food, but laughed and could appreciate the joke. She know she cray cray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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The bride-to-be and her soon-to-be mother-in-law didn't agree on much during the wedding planning

Both being from Texas, the MIL wanted something BIG and fancy. And the BTB wanted more of a traditional outdoors gathering. They couldn't even agree on what to serve their guests for dinner. As the date approached, they were barely speaking to each other.

In the end, it was a chili reception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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What’s the difference between terrorist and mother in law?

With the terrorist you can negotiate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yubimarcano
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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Bought my mother in law some potting soil at Walmart.

She asked how much it was. I said "Don't worry, it was dirt cheap."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayoulean
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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10 years ago, I loaned my mother-in-law $5k, and I haven't seen or heard from her since.

Completely worth it, if you ask me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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My mother-in-law was having dinner with us, and began coughing while eating her corn on the cob. She said, "I'm choking on a kernel of corn".

I said "at least it wasn't a General of Corn". No one laughed except me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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I took my dog, my txt-addict daughter and my mother-in-law in the car yesterday.

I can’t afford a car stereo but I still have a woofer, a tweeter and a loud-speaker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
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I always knew there was something wrong with my mother in law's dog. I'm no psychologist, but...

It clearly has maltipoo personality disorder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cl350rg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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Out to dinner, mother in law tried to say 'fondled' and 'fumbled' at the same time.

She ended up saying 'fundled'. Wife asked "what is fundled?"

I said, "it's the type of harassment you can't get sued for."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/accountnumber3
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
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Dadjoked by mother in law

Driving down the street, see sign that says "Yukon Rd closed, take detour." Mother in law in backseat says "aahh, Yukon't drive there."

Groaning intensifies....

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boj3143
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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If you rearrange the letters in "Mother in Law"

You get "woman Hitler"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmy__Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
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Riding in the car, my mother-in-law tells us she used to work at a tack factory

I said "It's a good job to stick with... Just making a point..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2016
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Mother in law didn't even know she made a dadjoke.

My son was talking to my father in law when they yell "we are getting hit by mokitos!" (Mosquitos)

I yelled back "mojitos? Where!!?!"

My wife tells "we got mojitos up in here"

And my mother in law, not joking, says. "I hear they can carry limes disease"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanMichael08
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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My mother-in-law informs me she is waiting on a knee replacement

Me: Then you'll have a faux-knee (phony).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TravellingMatt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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Got my husband and mother-in-law while cleaning up toys

We were cleaning up and making sure all the toys were accounted for when I noticed the "L" block was missing from the pile.

Me: Anyone see the L block anywhere?

Husband and mother-in-law, after looking around a bit: No.

Me: I guess it got the "L" out of here.

Mother-in-law rolled her eyes and smirked. Husband left the room grumbling about me spending too much time in /r dadjokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nepher_blue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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My son was just born and we named him Cornelius. My mother-in-law responded with "Corny? Seriously?"

Well if I wasn't it would be a bad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belly_bell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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Got my (to-be) mother in law today

My nephew was playing with his Mr. Potatohead and he throws his body parts about the room (he's 2)

Her: Looks like Mr. Potatohead became a suicide bomber.

Me: I know his last words.

Her: What?

Me: Au gratin ackbar.

I'll be here all week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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Got my Mother-in-Law. My wife not so much.

My wife and mother in law were washing some dishes in the kitchen after a get together. I came in to get a drink and noticed a box of crackers on the counter where they were standing...

Me: What do those crackers do?

Mother in Law: What do you mean?

Me: Just curious to know what those crackers do. That is all.

MiL: Those were for the cheese that i bought. Did you want some more cheese and crackers? I have some left in the fridge.

Wife: Mom. They say "entertainment" crackers.

My wife started to laugh since i got her mom. Mother in law tried to play it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stang1776
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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Mother-in-law out-dadjoked me

While bottlefeeding my 1-mo old daughter, sometimes she will hold both her arms straight out as she feeds.

My wife commented on this and wondered aloud why she does that -- my MIL said without missing a beat:

"She likes to eat a balanced breakfast."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingatomic
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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mother-in-law dad-joked us all at dinner last night

During a lull in conversation, I said "well..." and paused. She quickly interjected "Its a deep subject, don't fall in!"... 3 seconds later... groans all around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minektur
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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Bringing my kids home after a trip to the beach, I asked how their trip was. My mother-in-law said "it was really windy, which sucked."

I replied "really? I would have thought it blew."

She didn't get it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plsdntanxiety
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
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Got my mother-in-law

Eating some cheddar on crackers over the weekend.

"This cheese is very good! I normally don't buy cheddar, especially the sharp kind." - Mother in law

"Me neither, it always cuts my hands." - Me

"Why would it cut your..." she starts then makes the connection. Got groans and eye rolls from both fiance and mother-in-law.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpinDocktor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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My mother-in-law

At one point at a family barbeque today the ended up sitting on a potato chip.

Mother-in-law: "better on your butt then on your shoulder."

Groans from everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiritualengr
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2014
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Mother in law pulled a dad joke...

Me: I lost my voice not too long ago.

Mother in law: Did you find it?

(._. )

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MOBBRO
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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