Monastics Puns

He comes upon a monastery. Desperately tired and hungry, he knocks on the door and shortly after a solemn monk appears.

The man asks if he can come in to rest and get something to eat. The monk replies, “Of course! But all we have to eat is fish and chips.” The monk takes the man to the dining hall where the other monastics are already assembled for dinner.

After the meal the man exclaims, “That was the best meal I have ever had! I must meet the cook.”

Soon after, a portly gentleman emerges from the kitchen and greets the man. The man asks, “Are you the fish fryer?” To which the cook responds:

“No. I’m the chip monk”

Giles was quite sickly and prone to injury, but that did not stop him from studying the scriptures diligently and preparing his mind and body for an ascetic lifestyle. Eventually, he travelled to Rome and got admitted into a monastery, fulfilling his lifelong dream.

He now goes by Fra Giles.

Last night I dreamt I was turning my handwriting into a custom font.

It started out normal with basic straight lines but by “Z” it had become a very ornate and filigreed design, reminiscent of the designs of monks in old bibles.

Someone watching me work then asked me what the font was called.

I responded: What’s a monk’s favourite font?

They shook their head and shrugged.

Me: MonastArial!

I started laughing but only received an exasperated sigh in return.

Me: Wait, I’ve got another one. How about GaraMonk? 🤣

Ahhhhnd I woke myself up because I was laughing so hard at my own joke and had to look up of Monastarial was a real word. It is.