Did I ever tell you about the shady vendor who sold me an overpriced, moldy donut on my trip to see the Pyramids?

Egypt me, but I was starving so I ate it anyway. Now I falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/obvious_santa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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What does moldy bread add to a room?

Fungus Shui

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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My son was dared to eat moldy bread

He ate the whole thing! Man, He's such a fungi

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Smiling
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
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I asked the library women of there are any books on the Titanic

She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What’s green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree could kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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If life gives you melons,

You might be dyslexic

πŸ‘︎ 494
πŸ‘€︎ u/CSHicks96
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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My dad's favorite spooky Halloween joke

My dad told me this the first time on Halloween night back when I was 9. He tells it to this day to any of my cousins, nephews, or any kids that happen to linger too long at the house when he's giving out candy. It's a long one but I have always enjoyed it.

Back when I was about your age, I went on a Halloween adventure. There was an old abandoned house on our street where a series of grisly axe murders had taken place years before. The house had never sold and was left vacant and was left to fall apart. There was a local legend that if you went into the house on Halloween night, you'd be confronted by the ghost of the murderer himself, still looking for more victims to add to his terrifying story.

My friend Tom and I decided to go through with it one year. Knowing everyone would be too terrified to go into the house, we snuck in easily on Halloween night. The place was falling apart inside, the carpet was wet and moldy and the wallpaper was peeling off everywhere. We headed down carefully to the basement down a set of creaky stairs.

At first we found nothing. Just an empty creepy old house. Suddenly we felt as if we were being watched. I was looking through one of the rooms in the large basement when I suddenly heard Tom shriek. I spun around and turned my flashlight and Tom was being chased by something, no someone. It looked like it was the murderer! A crazed man with an axe!

We turned and tried to run anywhere. We were in the basement but couldn't get up the stairs because we were blocked. We ran into the side room which looked like it might have been the laundry years ago. We locked the door and looked for a way out. The only thing we could find was a small window that opened onto ground level. As I climbed out I heard a pounding on the door. I managed to wriggle my way through the window and turned around to help my friend Tom. Panicking, he managed to get his top half through the window when I noticed the pounding stop.

Tom was stuck! I kept trying to pull him up but I couldn't. I pulled as hard as I could as Tom panicked and thrashed even more. I thought something had him caught, but it was even worse. The murderer had gotten behind him and was holding him back! He was too strong for me to overcome and he was pulling Tom's leg!

Just like I've been pulling yours this whole time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheG-What
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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