Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA

Should see it as an opportunity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wibie90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Mate of mine used a modified Fatman in a New Vegas inspired talbetop-RPG. We both found the damage calculation of the lingering damage the GM thought of quite punny:

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoughShadow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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My friend told me that he’s afraid of eating genetically modified fruit.

I said, β€œGrow a pear.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

Unfortunately the result was unbearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I was modifying my friend's car and he asked me to put a spoiler on the back

So I wrote "in the Sixth Sense Bruce Willis was a ghost all along" on the back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kloppatam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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If an orange has been GMO modified...

does that make it pulp fiction?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrJokster
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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What do you get when Carlos Mencia steals an old dirty joke, slightly modifies it, and calls it his own?

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewpdoane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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When genetically modifying humans becomes common, the company that's doing it should be called ProCreation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimjawb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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My dad genetically modified a bunch of plants to look like him...now there are green daddys all over the lawn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedYellon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2016
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As a server, one of my tables asked me for the check by simply saying "bill"

I responded by saying "No, it's Jeff". Now they always ask for the Jeff when they're done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisismeredditing
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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My friend texted me: Can I call you ?

I told him no I just prefer the simple Mark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alimamad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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24 Feb 2017, Revised Rules and meta-state of /r/puns

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've been very busy with personal stuff for the past few weeks, so I've let this subreddit drift unattended. Reading some of the reports and comments after coming back makes me realize that my absence led to some unwanted events happening!


Let's start with the fun stuff: We now have a new fancy rulebook! If you suspect a post of breaking these rules, feel free to report it in the relevant category, or use (8) other if you suspect it to slip through the cracks of one of the other rules.

Secondly, as of right now, we do not have an explicit rule forbidding inflammatory subjects like race, politics, etc, as the rest of reddit seems to be melting down, but so far we remain unscathed. I wish to let you all crack puns like adults without having to put on training wheels, but if any of the above subjects become a problem then I will swiftly revisit this. Consider this a privilege, not a right, and do try to avoid abusing it! Piggybacking off this, any post that is more 'lewd' than PG should be NSFW tagged. If it is inappropriate for an office setting, I will manually NSFW it, and repeat offenders will have consequences.

Third, you can now request puns! start a self post with [request] and put in whatever information is necessary, such as "[request] puns about clocks".


I'll keep this post stickied for about a week or so, to keep it as a nice feedback net, and we can adjust rules, add/delete/modify them as needed, to keep our subreddit of lovely puns in peak condition!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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Dropped this one on my wife.

I had just finished drilling a hole in the back side of my desk to pass the keyboard and mouse cables through.

Me: Would you like me to modify your desk too?

Wife: uuuuuhhh...

Me: The correct answer is "yes".

Wife: Oh! Yes I desperately need my desk fixed.

Me: DESK-perately?

Wife: Deskperately...

Me: Ok, I'll do anything for a damsel in deskstress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cecole1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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