What is the most emotional unit of measurement?
I just read that California leads the United States in both depression rates and cases of infidelity
Talk about a sad state of affairs
I am a professional reviewer of historic sites in the United States. I recently visited the site of a famous gunfight at a corral in Arizona...
What did the librarian announce over the PA system when a reader took home “The Languages of Tolkien's Middleearth”?
“Elvish has left the building.”
Bakers of the world unite!
You have nothing to lose but your grains.
What unit of measure do pirates use?
Did you ever hear about the police unit that had a drug duck instead of a dog?
It was excellent at detecting quack
Watt is the unit of power?
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
Absolute unit of a food
What do you call a very large, fried burrito?
A chimichonka
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
How do you call an army unit of babies?
Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
I told my kid we were gonna watch Paw Patrol, but instead I just showed him footage of K9 units training.
Guess that makes me a papa troll.
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips don’t lie
What are a communist's favorite units of time?
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
For my birthday in mid-January, I invited a few friends over to a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units inhabited primarily by impoverished persons.
It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
What’s a communist’s favorite unit of time?
What's the opposite of Manchester United?
What unit of measurement do you use to weigh your linens?
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
Watt is the unit of power
Punctuate the title however you like.
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
You’re a unit of power Harry
Currently in the process of uniting a kingdom
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.
What's a Soviet Russians Favourite unit of time?
What’s a monk’s favorite unit of measurement?
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
Watt is the unit of power?
Watt is the unit of power?
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